ALICIA

2010-07-12T22:00:00.004-06:00

I've decided that it is time for a new blog.
Blogspot has failed me and won't let me create any new posts and so therefore I've decided to make a new one instead of fight with it.
I'm also heading out on a new adventure and into a new portion of my life and so it's time for something new.
So here it is...

aslywka.wordpress.com

2010-06-18T18:20:00.003-06:00

1Goal
Go here and sign your name for 1goal!

2010-06-10T22:31:00.000-06:00

Another thing crossed off my list..
It was filled with good food, good entertainment and good friends!
~~Mosaic~~

World Cup starts tomorrow! I can pretty much be rendered useless for the entire month.
Spain is going to take it...you heard it here first..

2010-05-30T22:33:00.000-06:00

Joni and I accomplished the first thing on my list of awesome things to do this summer, and we even accomplished it in a downpour of rain...

~~Cathedral Village Arts Festival~~

Here are some more goals for summer 2010
Goal #4-Go Camping
Camping is one of my favourite parts of summer but it has been a good solid couple of years since I've been. I'm pretty sure the last time I went was with Pastor Hub and it featured fish marinated with dr. pepper; so it's about time to get the tent out again..

Goal #5- Go to the Kenosee Superslides
I hit up these waterslides every summer for about 12 years and even though they aren't the greatest I still love going to them. So hitting them up is a must this summer...hopefully it quits raining..

Goal #6- Roadtrip to visit Sandra/Hangout at the cabin
One of my favourite people and one of my favourite places to spend the summer...

2010-05-26T22:39:00.007-06:00

Life is full of questions: questions about what life is about, what we're living for, and who we need to be. We are all searching for something more, something deepeer, something that can redefine our lives and revolutionize this world.

We live in a society that is plagued by alarming rates of depression and suicide. We are seeking happiness and instead are being burdened by the complete opposite. We try to find meaning in money but only end up more depressed, we try to find worth from popularity but it only leads to more emptiness, we try to find something deeper from material possessions but it only pushes us even further over the edge. How did we ever let it get to this point? To the point where we are a people that are so depressed and a people that feel as if we have nothing left to live for. We are all longing to be heard, to be seen, to be loved and to belong. Far too often people fall through the cracks; go unseen, go unheard, go unloved and never belong. Through the chaos and busyness we don't see far beyond our lives; we don't see the lives of those around us, those that are desperately calling out for help and to be seen and heard; so they go unnoticed, unheard in a loud world, unseen in a crowded world.

Life is full of choices-big choices that will change the course of our life but also little choices that seem so insignificant. Our choices tell what we are about, what we are living for, who we are; our choices define us and give us purpose. We have a choice of how we live our life. We can live a selfish life, only caring about ourselves and what we do. We can be the person who never actually sees, who chooses to close our eyes to things we want to leave unseen; we can be the person who doesn't actually hear, who drowns out the sounds we want to leave unheard; and we can be the person who walks away, who turns our back on things that make us uncomfortable. Or we could be the person who cares, the person who actually sees, the person who actually hears and the person who walks closer instead of walking away. The person who takes the time to stand still in a crazy world and actually see and hear those who are so desperately calling out.

Life is about what you do, it is about who you are. It is about the little choices that seem so insignificant but truly mean the world. They are the choices that will change people, that will save people from getting to the point where they have nothing to live for. People are always looking for something to blame, for a person or something else to be the suspect, something to point the finger at. Why not point the finger at ourselves? What did we do? Most people say nothing, but that's the point. If we had the chance to do something but chose to close our eyes or drown out the sound or turn our backs, that makes us just as much the suspect. Far too often we have the chance to do something, to change someones life, but instead we do nothing and walk away and far too often it ends with the same result.

So what is life about? What are we living for? Who are we supposed to be?
What is life about? Life isn't about how much money we have, how many cars we have, what kind of clothes we wear; life is about finding something you believe in and standing up for it; life is about fighting for the little guy; for fighting for those without voices; life is about saving lives, about not letting it get to the point where people only see one way out. What are we living for? We are living for something deeper, something greater, something more meaningful then we will ever find anywhere else. We are living for love, and life and choices. Who are we supposed to be? We are supposed to be people that care, people that truly see, people that truly hear and people that won't turn our backs. We are supposed to be love and hope and joy.

What's the point of all this, if you're not going to let it change you?
Let something change you, let something strike a chord and truthfully change you. Don't be a person who does nothing, be a person who does something.

2010-05-24T20:15:00.002-06:00

I've decided to boycott the Stanley Cup Final...
Chicago vs. Philadelphia..can't get much worse of a final than that...

Instead of watching two of my most disliked teams play, I am going to be getting myself pumped up for World Cup 2010
18 days..

2010-05-18T09:48:00.000-06:00

Who doesn't love good food and a good meal, I know I love it, so it was a given that some of my goals of summer 2010 had to include some food.

Goal # 1 part b - Eat everything awesome there is to eat in Regina
My list of awesome things to do in the summer didn't include food, so part b is to eat the awesome food that there is to eat in this city. That will most likely will be a whole lot of sushi and indian food and maybe a few other things, but I'm fine by that..

Goal # 2 - Learn how to cook
If you've ever spent a considerable amount of time with me, you know that I am far from being domestic; I've never really liked to cook, or clean or doing anything related to housework-It's not my forte. I've always kindof been the type of girl that wants to defy the traditional role of women and be independent (I'm not a feminist but I just don't like being defined by "typical roles" and if you be expect me to be that way I try even harder not to be). For some reason, as of late, I've kindof been wanting to cook. I've realized that I can still cook and be independent and it doesn't have to fit into traditional roles.
A couple days ago, my mom came home with a new cookbook including everything from goodlooking soups to chocolate cake, and I thought what the heck, let's cook something. So I did....and it would have been great, but who knew 2 cups of vegetable stock isn't actually 2 cups of powdered vegetable stock, not this girl. My soup would have supplied my family with their entire salt intake for their whole lives-that salty. Well I am no Julie Child, and accidents happen but I know that I will never mess up vegetable stock ever again. Right after it happened and my soup went into the garbage I vowed that I would never cook again, but Julie Child says "Never apologize" and so here goes round 2 and an effort to learn how to cook...

Goal # 3 - Breakfast dates with good friends
In my opinion, there is nothing quite like breakfast and good conversations with old or new friends. The hardest part about leaving this place is going to be leaving the people I care about most, and that is why summer needs to be filled with countless breakfast dates-enough to give me a good fill me until I come back to this place.

2010-05-14T11:39:00.001-06:00

Time to hop on the bandwagon...
Go Habs!

2010-05-10T15:45:00.003-06:00

A couple days ago it clicked in my head that this could me last summer in Regina for awhile; with finishing up my degree and looking into grad schools, it is most likely that life will take me to new places and new cities. I am kind of like Seth Cohen when it comes to Regina (yes I really did just make a reference to the OC-I miss that show)-I have been dreaming of the day when I will live somewhere else, somewhere cooler, but as it slowly comes near it's going to become harder and harder to leave. Over the last few months I have really learnt to appreciate this city and what it has to offer me. I love the size, the friends and family that I have here and the memories that this place has given me. It's home and will always be home, but I know that sooner or later it's time to move on.
Because I realized that this could be my last summer here for awhile, I've decided that I'm going to make the best of it and have the best summer ever..

Goal # 1 of summer 2010- Do everything awesome that this city has to offer (which includes but is not limited to..)
-Mosaic
-frequent walks around Wascana lake
-ride the bike paths in Regina
-Cathedral Village Arts Festival
-attend my first ever Regina Folk Festival
-Saturday night dance parties
-Farmer's market
-explore places that I've never seen
-bridge jumping into Wascana

2010-04-30T18:08:00.000-06:00

I love summer and everything about summer! I love the nice weather and the rain and the sun and being able to wear shorts! Even though I don't actually get summer holidays this year, the nice weather and sweet hangouts might actually make school bearable! I have a feeling this summer is going to be great! Awesome!

I love being done another semester of school! Even though I only have 5 days until I start again, it's nice knowing that I have successfully completed another semester and only have two more to go! Awesome!

I love hanging out with my sister in BC! It's been the greatest to come hangout in her small little town and be a part of her world for a couple days! I have loved just lazing around in her nice house not having to worry about anything! I really like this place and my sister of course! Awesome!

I love looking out my window and seeing mountains every morning! I will always be a prairie girl at heart but there is something in me that loves the mountains! I have decided that my next move will probably be to a place with mountains! Awesome!

I love playoff time! In my opinion it's one of the best times of the year; it helps that Vancouver made the second round! I love that now I can watch hockey without having to study for finals! Awesome!

2010-04-20T16:23:00.000-06:00

Knowledge has become a key commodity of the 21st century. We are taught that in order to be something in this society you need knowledge, you need an education, a degree to your name. Knowledge is power. Those that have the most knowledge climb the ladder of power. They are the ones running this society, telling us that in order to be successful we need knowledge. In a society where knowledge is power, knowledge has also become wealth. We are a society driven by consumerism and capitalism; we are ever longing for more materials to purchase and more money to purchase them with. In a materialistic consumer driven society, knowledge has been materialized, it has been commodified, making it one of the most sought after commodities of the wealthy and those that can afford it. Knowledge is now something that is being produced under capitalist labor market conditions: it can be bought and sold, and it is private rather than public property. Knowledge is becoming less about what it actually is, and more about who can afford it. The knowledge economy is about creating and processing knowledge, trading and using knowledge for competitive advantage- it is not about knowing or knowledge for its own sake, it is not about the pursuit of knowledge but about "creating" knowledge by turning knowledge into a commodity or product (On Tricky Ground, L.T. Smith, 2005). Knowledge is no longer about what it is meant to be about; it isn't about knowing for the sake of knowing, or about gaining more knowledge, it is now about gaining wealth. Knowledge, something that I believe was never meant to be a material or a commodity, has now been made into a product, a commodity of a materialistic society, available to the wealthy and those that have power. This leaves those that can't afford in the margins, leaving them to the ascendancy of the wealthy, ever increasing the gap between the rich and the poor.

2010-04-14T23:03:00.000-06:00

It's that time of year, so pick your playoff team!!!

Go Nucks!

2010-04-11T22:57:00.000-06:00

The countdown is on...
4 more days of classes
4 finals-3 written, 1 take home
1 philosophy paper
1 correspondence class.....
and then it's the end.

The end of this semester only means the beginning of my final 4 classes of my undergraduate degree. 4 months, 4 classes, followed by 3 months in a foreign land and then I'll have an official piece of paper meaning that I actually need to know something after my 4+ years in University. But let's not get ahead of ourselves; before I can think about the end I need to figure out how a philosopher's mind works and try to fit some studying in around watching playoffs, then I'll be in the clear.

2010-03-22T16:09:00.001-06:00

I'm tryng not to get my hopes up too high just in case it falls through but I am 95% sure that Tanzania is where I will be come September.
Even though it is still 5 months away, I can't even describe how stoked I am. This is the ultimate goal I have knowingly been working towards for the last 2 years, and unknowingly for the last 5 years. The next 5 months are going to be exhausting, challenging and I know there will be more than a few moments where I wish I could fast forward to September, but it will all be worth it when I board a plane back to a continent I love.
Only one month left in this semester, then my final four classes in the summer, then Tanzania here I come!

2010-03-08T19:21:00.004-06:00

April 8th
One day without shoes....

2010-03-04T23:08:00.000-06:00

We live in a world where we are said to have freedom; freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom of choice, countless freedoms that let us decide who we are, who we can become. Everyday I have freedom of choice; freedom to choose what I wear- to choose between the thirty t-shirts or sweatshirts I have; freedom to choose what I drink-a small coffee or a large caramel macchiato; freedom to choose what I do, where I go, what I read; I face a million little choices everyday, choices that I take for granted.
Somewhere someone doesn't have those choices. They face a reality far off than mine and are faced with choices far different than mine. Faced with the choice of drinking dirty pond water, infested with bacteria, or drinking nothing at all; the choice of whether to go to bed hungry or sell themselves for food; the choice of blue dress or blue dress; the choice of walking once for 3 hours to get water, or walking twice for 6 hours to get more water.
Clearly this is not freedom and these choices are not choices at all.

Choice has always been a privilege of those who could afford to pay for it.
-Ellen Frankfort

2010-02-12T00:35:00.000-06:00

I constantly forget why I love this city. I always get mad at it for never being what I want it to be. It's not foreign, it doesn't have the greatest transportation, it doesn't have great shopping, it's pretty average and nothing special. I've spent half my time here wishing it was something else, wishing it could be like the places I travel; new, fresh, unknown, cool-but it will never be those things. But I've realized that that's what makes me love this place. It's comfortable, known and pretty steady, and it has the one thing that none of those other places has; it has friends, family, relationships, and community. It isn't the things in this city that make it what it is, it's the people that I have here that makes it what it is. It's the old friends that will always be friends no matter what happens in life; it's the new friends that are helping me to redefine this city; it's the family that I have here; it's the people I see on a daily basis that constantly brighten my day.
This city is about the people, not about the place.
I love this city.

2010-02-07T23:27:00.003-06:00

I found this commercial on Chelsa's blog. It's a great one and explains a little of why Canadians including myself love hockey the way we do...

The countdown is on until the Olympics...Can't wait!

2010-01-31T16:39:00.001-06:00

My mind is constantly thinking and dreaming about this place. My heart is itching for it; I want to smell the smells, to hear the songs and sounds, to see the children smile, to walk its roads. I am constantly daydreaming about when I will get back there and how great it will feel.

2010-01-22T22:34:00.000-06:00

Every thursday I hangout with the greatest kids on the planet. Sometimes they drive me a little nuts but who doesn't. I could go on and on about them for hours and how great they are; half the time I feel like a proud parent with 40 teenagers.
This week they made me prouder than I've ever been of them. We challeneged them to raise money for Haiti and they went above and beyond what we asked of them. Kids who don't have that much to begin with, opening their hearts to people who are in greater need than they are. Realizing that even though they may not be the most well off, they can do something little that will go a long way. They are great!

2010-01-18T23:29:00.001-06:00

Day after day I find myself shaking my head; shaking my head at this society, at everything absurb that surrounds me; seeing it for what it truly is, what we truly have become, and where we will go if we keep on this path. We have become like robots, each the same, supressed by this society, by formalities, pretenses and social conventions and we have lost who we are; lost all real personality, real joy, real love, real everything.

You're obliged to pretend respect for people and institutions you think absurd. You live attached in a cowardly fashion to moral and social conventions you despise, condemn, and know lack all foundation. It is that permanent contradiction between your ideas and desires and all the dead formalities and vain pretenses of your civilization which makes you sad, troubled and unbalanced. In that intolerable conflict you lose all joy of life and all feeling of personality, because at every moment they suppress and restrain and check the free play of your powers. That's the poisoned and mortal wound of the civilized world. -Octave Mirbeau

2010-01-10T19:57:00.001-06:00

My heart is itching for an adventure more than ever right now; To leave everything I know behind, to go into the unknown, a place I don't know, with new people, a new culture, new sights and sounds. I wish I could just hop on a plane and see something different.

2010-01-04T16:45:00.004-06:00

2010 has not started off the best for me. It started off by being stressed while trying to dance it off to I've got a feeling by the Black Eyed Peas-that could quite possibly be the problem right there, if you asked Nic, he would probably say it is- this was all accompanied by sickness and very little sleep and then followed by a car accident, which equals no car for me. Not a very fun start to 2010 at all.

I've been thinking about it though and have come to some conclusions/made some decisions. I've always wanted to be the person that walked everywhere or rode the bus but I admit I'm a sucker for convenience. If there was a car sitting on my driveway that was in some way considered mine, I would drive it instead of walking/taking the bus. I admit I never had the power or self-restraint to say "Today I'm going to walk instead of driving" or "Today I'm riding the bus". But now I have been forced into it and have no option; and even though this choice has been forced onto me, I'm happy about it; I'm happy I don't have a car, I'm happy I don't have that convenience anymore.

Having no car got me thinking even further though. In the summer I read a book called Sleeping Naked is Green. A journalist from Toronto took on the challenge of making a green change in her life for every day of the year. She blogged about it and then eventually wrote a book about it. When I read this book, I wished I had the power to do what she did and make changes in my own life but I was pretty lazy and selfish and didn't really do anything. After the anger and tears emptied out of me about getting into an accident and not having a car anymore, I came up with a brilliant idea, at least I hope its brilliant. No, I'm not going to make 365 green changes in my life, I admit that might be a little extreme for now, but Yes I am going to try and make whatever changes I can; keyword being try; I may fail but I may as well try. I am going to gradually make changes starting out with walking/riding the bus when I can. No better time then now, the start of a new year to make new changes to live a new life.

Here are some other things that got me thinking. Last night I went to see the movie H2Oil with a friend. It's about the Alberta oilsands and the impact that they have on the environment and on health. After we talked about capitalism and being ethically aware of businesses and what's going on in society. I came to the conclusion that I just want to escape it all by moving to a hut and live there for the rest of my life. I know that's not really a reality, at least for now, and so maybe I should just become more aware. More aware of my environment, more aware of the damage I cause, more aware of everything I do, more aware of everything going on around me, just become more aware of absolutely everything. So that kindof goes hand in hand with my green changes.

Even though I am sucker for shopping and buying things, I am not a fan of consumerism and this society. I would way rather go live in Africa in a hut with nothing, then live in Canada in a big house with 2 cars and a boat and all the extra necessities we tell ourselves we need. While I was in Hungary, I found and read a book called Enough. It is about consumerism in every sense-of material things, entertainment, food, work- and how we have an excess of all these things in western society. The author challenges you to simplify; to take a step back and simplifly your life and to learn how to say enough. Ever since I read this book it has been on mind. When you are free from the conveniences of western society it is easy to say you'll make changes but when you are right in the middle of them it is far to easy to fall victim to them. This book came to mind when I started thinking about green changes. I mean changes like this may not be green in the sense that they impact the environment but they are just good changes to make and changes that I want to make in life and learn to keep. A friend put it well, humans just need to learn how to be humans again, we have become too much like robots. That's exactly what I want to do, I don't want to be a robot, I want to learn how to be human again. I want to quit falling victim to consumerism and the ways of this society.

One last thing that got me thinking was another book that I got last year for Christmas. I put it on my bookshelf and didn't really think about it all year except for the couple times I pulled it out, looked at it and then put it back. It is called Change the World for ten bucks: 50 ways to make a difference. I am all about changing the world and doing whatever I can to make a difference. This book slipped out of my mind though but I was reminded of it when I was going through my bookshelf today. It's not about doing huge things but small things that will ultimately make a difference. So I am going to work on doing small things that will hopefully have a bigger impact on this world and the people around me. Something that is definitely connected to green changes.

So there you have it; my brilliant idea and the inspirations behind it.
So here's to 2010, trying to make green changes, making a difference and changing the world, and hoping that my luck turns around.

2009-12-20T23:07:00.000-06:00

This world needs more people who are less satisfied. Less satisfied with fitting into boxes and fitting molds. Less satisfied with being defined by what we have instead of who we are. Less satisfied by material gain and consumerism. Less satisfied with conforming and settling. Less satisfied with more and more satisfied with less. This world needs more people who are less satisfied.

This world needs more people who are alive. People who love what they do, who have passion, purpose, drive. People who aren't in it for fame and fortune; genuine people with genuine hearts that have been broken by things of this world and are on fire for what they stand for and what they believe in. There are far too many people who settle; settle for comfort and luxury and worldly things; settle for something they don't love, something they don't have a desire to do just because it's far easier and far more comfortable. This world needs more people who are alive.

This world needs less me and more we. We have become a society that is all about ourselves. All about getting ourselves to the top and we don't care who we step on in the process. It is about OUR time, OUR money, OUR families, OUR lives; what about the rest of the billions of people in the world; what about their time, their money, their families, their lives. We say we want to decrease the gap between the rich and the poor but that gap is still growing; growing as we take everything-everything that we already have- for ourselves and leave the rest with nothing. This world needs less me and more we.

This world needs more hope. Everywhere you look there is death, poverty, despair, depression, a pure emptiness that plagues people. It is enough to get you down, to dig a dark hole and bury you in it; it sits heavy on your shoulders, wears emotions thin. It sucks the love, life and hope out of the light that tries to shine. It is easy to get burnt out, to get bogged down and fall into that despair, to only see negative, to hate this world and what it brings. Amongst all that dark, there is hope though. Light that is shining through despair and depression, something deeper that is filling emptiness, something revolutionary that is changing poverty. There is hope. Hope in small deeds, hope in making a difference, hope in small acts that may change this world. This world needs more hope.

2009-12-07T20:45:00.001-06:00

The countdown is on...
2 days of classes
4 finals-3 written, 1 take home
1 major paper and presentation
1 minor paper

The end is so near. I can't wait to be free but first I have to make it through this, lets hope I do.

24 days until Joni's wedding
19 days until the World Junior's
18 days until Christmas
17 days until I see my sister and Sandra

2009-12-02T22:40:00.000-06:00

Here's some lyrics that got my mind thinking, hopefully they'll get yours thinking too.
Born into a culture that teaches you to keep taking not giving.
Will you live your life spending?
Or will you spend your life living?

2009-12-01T23:29:00.000-06:00

World AIDS Day...

2009-11-20T15:18:00.001-06:00

It's far easier to close my eyes to things I don't want to see than to keep them open and see all the pain, suffering and injustice. It's far easier to focus in on my own little world than to realize the massive world that's actually out there. It's far easier to hate my enemy than to love them. It's far easier to become self absorbed and love yourself than to love strangers. It's far easier to give up than to stand up for what you believe in. It's far easier being comfortable than stepping outside lines and comfort zones.
So many things are so much easier, but life isn't meant to be easy...

My constant prayer...
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you loved me
Break my heart for what breaks yours
Everything I am for you kingdom's cause
As I go from earth to eternity

2009-10-31T14:49:00.000-06:00

Ever since I've gotten home, I have been in a constant struggle with this place. Trying not to slide back into the rut that this place has but trying to find out where I belong and how I fit into this city. Constantly trying to find peace and contentment but ending up with reasons to leave.
I've said it before that this place is bitter sweet to me and it continues to be that way- I love it because it's home and this is where my family and some of my best friends are, but I've changed and this place just doesn't get it, people just don't get it, and I'm itching to get out and see the world.
A little while ago I made a couple realizations; realizations about life, this place and people. It was hard but I also found peace along with them; not peace with this place but peace with who I am and what they meant. I accepted them for what they were and kindof just watched as this place continued to check off reasons of why I should go.
Realizations continue to happen to me though and I realized that I was writing off all the good in this place, forcing myself to see only the bad and all the reasons of why I should go; writing off people with selfish reasons but blaming anyone but myself. Only seeing the bad when there was countless good stacking up beside me. I was blaming this place for problems I was creating myself.
The constant struggle has somewhat been won. I am finally being able to see the good in this place again. The reasons of why it is home and why I love it. Also being to understand a little bit more of what this place means for me and where I fit and finding peace alongside it. Peace and contentment with this place, life and people.
Wanting to travel and see the world was my escape. I love to travel but I mostly wanted to get out because of discontment and the bad in this place. With realizations that has changed though. I want to travel but not because I want to escape anymore but because it's where my heart is. Now it's for the right reasons, not just wanting an out. I can leave this place with peace and know that I'll be happy to come home.

2009-10-25T23:36:00.001-06:00

I have been feeling really uninspired to write lately. I think its because I have so many other things filling up my time that when I do have a spare moment I either catch up on sleep or do something besides write on here. But I thought I would give it a go and at least let you know I'm still alive and at least trying to make it through this semester.

This semester is quite the semester. When it started I honestly didn't know what I was getting myself into. I'm not saying I don't like it because I do, but at times I honestly don't think there is enough time to fit everything I have to do into a day. If this semester doesn't kill me, then I should be able to handle anything after this. This is the "it" semester for me; the one semester that I really have to do good in. After I make it through this one, it is semi home free for me; 9 classes and a placement. So let's just hope that I make it through this one alive..

Here's a little look into what's keeping me busy this semester:
-research project on cancer mortality rates in the 1930's-1960's and their connection to pesticide usage and water contamination. My program doesn't have an honors option but this project and class is pretty much the equivalent of it. It is definitely keeping me busy and helping me to learn a lot about the research procedure; something that I will most likely be doing a bit of when I hit the real world
-research project on pathological vs. physiological Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy. This one is a little less intense because we are just designing a research project and don't actually have to collect the data for it. That takes some pressure off and frees up time to do data collection for my other project
-research paper on FASD and FASD programs among Aboriginal communities
-research paper on similarties between African healthcare and Aboriginal healthcare related to HIV/AIDS
-research paper on the effects of contact and colonization on Aboriginal people
-working on figuring out placements for school-its looking pretty good I will be somewhere international doing something health related for 12 weeks in either the summer or next fall- potentially: malawi, trindad & tobago, india, kenya, or somewhere else in africa..
-youth-still hanging out with those kids each week-no matter how busy I am I will always make time to hangout with those kids
-hockey-I'm playing with some girls I played with years ago on a team in Adult Safe. Pretty sweet to be back
-soccer-moving on up in the soccer world.Playing premier with Tiff's team this year instead. Played my first game tonight and scored a goal. Should be a good season
-work-still at java 2 shifts a week

So that's what I have been up to for the last 2 months and will continue to do until this semester is over. I am trying not to complain and count down the days but it is really hard when your next free day comes after your last final...
Even though I like it I am looking forward to being able to breath, not stress and read something I actually want to read, not just old records of cancer mortality rates...

Well back to it...

2009-10-07T21:01:00.000-06:00

It's almost turkey day. A good time of year filled with good food, good friends, family, thankfulness and that crisp feeling in the air. I have had a lot to be thankful for over the last couple of months and so today here is what I am thankful for....

I am thankful for home and being able to come home

I am thankful for old friends

and new friends

I am thankful for new places

and new adventures

I am thankful for unexpected joys found in unexpected places

and for purpose and direction

and for passion

I am thankful for laughs..
and happiness...
and contentment..
and new opportunities..

and the list could go on on on on....

2009-09-17T22:20:00.001-06:00

I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the one who makes me who I am.

2009-09-10T22:27:00.000-06:00

Meet Joni Patmore...
aka Joni "the chimney sweep" Patmore, or schomes
For those of you that don't know, this lovely lady now has some extra bling that sits on her left ring finger!! I am beyond stoked and excited for her! I had the treat of going on the adventure of a lifetime with this girl this summer. There are few people that I could spend 6 weeks sharing a bed with but this girl is one of those few! A couple of years ago, we had no idea that the other existed and now she is one of my dearest friends. Whether I am in need of a sweet dance party, brutal honesty or someone to listen, I can always rely and trust on this girl! She is beyond fantastic and shares my love of baggy bottom pants and nike dunks, and so it was a guaranteed success of friendship from the beginning!
So here is to you dear schmones. I love you and am stoked for you!
xo

2009-09-03T13:09:00.000-06:00

Reliving the US open 08.

Last year at this time, me and Jonny were walking the streets of NYC and taking in the US open. Man I wish I was there again...

2009-09-02T21:32:00.000-06:00

I've read a buttload of books this summer. It feels good being able to read things you actually want to read instead of textbooks, papers and articles- Ugh! I only have one more week of free reading and then I'm back at it again. That's both a good and bad thing. I've read a lot of cool stuff this summer and have started another good one that is pretty promising.

I have set pretty high goals and ambitions for my life. Even though it's pretty impossible I want to change the world or at least get as close to it as possible. I know you can't map out of your life but if I could mine would be something including a third world country, a masters in global public health, lots of travel and tons of cute kids (not my own). This new book I'm reading is right up my alley and kind of maps out my ideal life, at least at the point that I am at it does. It's called Mountains beyond Mountains. Check it out.

I have been home for about two weeks now and I'm still working on processing it all. I don't know if i ever will be able to. It's kind hard to explain and also kindof hard to understand but I've just accepted it. One thing that I've been able to process is the change that happened. I know that I am a different person and am in a different place then when I left. I don't really know what it means for my life or what I'm supposed to do with it but I guess that will come with time.
Here's something that I would say sums it up pretty well...
Oh dear, my life has changed...I think there's a point where you realize the world has been revealed to you. It's like realizing your parents are both good and bad. It's sort of [like], oh no, things will never be quite the same again -Mountains beyond Mountains
This is part of it. This is some of my realization. For better or for worse-hopefully for better-my life will never be the same again.

2009-08-25T14:22:00.001-06:00

I used to really hate change. I was never good at new situations or meeting new people or straying away from the old. I'm still not that good at it but as I've grown up it's become something that I've learned to appreciate. Change is something that is going to happen no matter what and so you may as well learn to live with it and even like it sometimes. I've learnt to like it. Something else I've realized is that somethings will never change.
Awhile ago a friend and I were talking about being able to come home- come home to a place that is familiar and hasn't really changed. I disagreed at the time saying that this place had changed. I couldn't give an answer why but I was pretty set that it had. I thought that this place was changing while I stayed the same but actually it was the other way around. Since this conversation I have gone on a 6 week trip and come home. Being able to leave this place and then come home I've realized that this place truthfully hasn't changed-plus or minus a few things. For better or worse it is left unchanged and for better or worse I have changed. I don't really know how I feel about this, actually its probably more mixed emotions then not really knowing what the emotions are. Its both a good and bad thing. Good- its nice being able to come home to a place that you know, to things that are familiar, things that are the same, being able to pick up where you left off. Bad-coming home to a place that is the same as when you left it but you aren't the same person, how do you find your groove, or where you fit, or explain it to people that will never really understand.
I've always sucked at balance-my physical balance is pretty good but a mental balance is something that I find really hard to work out. I'm the type of person that gets comfortable, comfortable in my surroundings, finding a groove and slipping into a rut. It happens time and time again. Regina has a rut. A rut that I slip into far to often. I'm not saying that it's a bad thing but I know it's not for me and not where I want to be- that doesn't stop me from slipping into it though. I see way to many people in life that are comfortable, comfortable to sit back and not take steps forward-they fall into that rut and don't really do anything to get out of it. They let go of themselves and give up just cause its easier. I don't want that. I don't want to be comfortable, I don't want to fall into that rut and end up giving up. But how do I find balance? How do I stay true to who I am and who I want to be and not slip into that rut but yet find peace and contentment with this place? How and where do I find that balance in an unchanged place when I am changed?

2009-08-03T12:17:00.000-06:00

i've been quite slack at this thing all summer. not having a computer that i can check whenever i want has actually been quite refreshing. having to pay for it affects how much i use it but i'm okay with that. less computer has meant more time for myself and more time spent with friends and doing stuff that actually matters.

we are on our last week of reading. i seriously can't believe its already that time- time to have to start saying goodbye. its probably pretty cliche if i say time flies but i'm going to say it anyways. i really don't know where time has gone. when we were at home 5 weeks felt like a lifetime but now that we are here it has gone by like nothing.
this trip continues to be good in so many ways. everyday brings new things-new challenges, conversations, observations, friends and oppurtunities.
it has definitely been a growing and learning experience and it's changed me for the better. at least i hope so...
this trip has meant constant thoughts running through my head. constantly thinking about life and who i am and who i want to become, what i want to accomplish and what i want to do. i've made alot of realizations but there is also still alot that i haven't been able to work out...i don't know if i ever will be able to untangle them...

in 2 weeks and a little bit i will be home. i am soaking it all up and enjoying the last days we spend here. spending as much time with friends as possible before we have to say goodbye. the people here have been my family for the last 5 weeks and saying goodbye is going to be pretty hard. i know i will miss this place and the people once i am gone...at least there is technology to keep us in touch.
in a week and a bit we head to rome. ha. i hope we don't get lost....
gelato here we come.
when in rome, do as the romans do...

if i don't write in the next 2 weeks...i will see you soon regina.

2009-07-14T13:10:00.000-06:00

So it hasn't quite been a week since we have been here but what a week it has been! We are finally starting to get settled in and this is starting to feel like home a little bit!
The weekend was spent at camp with the young friends team and local teenagers! It was a weekend filled with lots of laughs, good lessons, fun games and all around was a good time! After camp, we came back to the city and were able to relax a bit as Monday was the start of our reading sessions! We all said that coming back to our apartment in Debrecen felt like coming home after a weekend of sleeping on camp bunkbeds; so its nice to feel that way about this place cause it is going to be home for 5 weeks!
Yesterday we started our reading and it is awesome! We all have about 8-9 readers but we read with them every day if poossible! We are already starting to create friendships and get to know the readers on a deeper level! So I know that in 5 weeks it will only get better!
We are also starting to feel comfortable in the city! It is a city about the size of Regina, so that also makes it feel like home! We are in a good location and are close to everything we need!

Even though it has only been 5 days since we got here, it is crazy to see the ways that I know god is going to work! Even though I definitely miss home and everything that means home, I also am able to not miss home that much cause I know that this is exactly where God wants me to be. Its kindof hard to describe but it is a good feeling! I know that after 5 weeks I am going to be a totally different person than when I came here! God is going to use this place and these people to change me and hopefully he will also use me to change them! It's a pretty cool feeling to be able to know that I can have a part in changing peoples lives. It's an unbeatable feeling actually and so maybe that is also why I don't miss home as much! No matter what the reason, what an awesome adventure and experience! I can't wait for the stories I will have and for the things that will come of everything that happens here!

2009-07-09T05:52:00.000-06:00

After a long day of travelling, we made it! It hasn't even really clicked yet that I'm in another country and will be for the next 5 weeks. I guess that will come when tomorrow morning I wake up and I'm not in my own bed. My eyes are fading so fast as I write this but I can't give into the temptation of sleep. My body is confused and doesn't know what time it is- so tired, but it's so bright out here. Hopefully tonight we can crash and get onto somewhat of a normal schedule.
(Sorry if my y's and z's are ever reversed. The keyboards here are backwards and it will take some getting used to)
It was nice to be met by familiar faces and have people to show you the ropes. The young friends team is still around here for a couple more days and so they will be able to show us what to do and how to get by. Tonight we have our first party and so that will be fun. Get to start meeting people and the missionaries. We go to camp this weekend and then reading will start next week.
Well I am dying of heat in this internet cafe and can't really keep my eyes open and so that means I should probably move onto something else. Everything is good here and hope all is good at home!

2009-07-07T23:06:00.000-06:00

Less than 24 hours and I will be on a plane to Hungary!

If anyone cares to know, here's our team blog. We have good intentions to update it regularly.
http://teamhungary.wordpress.com

Hopefully I'll be able to update this every once and awhile too!

Goodbye Regina! See you in 6 weeks!

2009-07-02T23:19:00.000-06:00

1. I got accepted into my program. What a good feeling! This is the first time in the 3 and a bit years that I've been at University that I've actually had a major and been in an actual program. It nice to have a direction and to be able to see the end.

2. Life has weird ways of showing you the good and the bad, and some of that has happened in the past couple of weeks. Life has taught me a bit about realness and true friendships. Hard stuff but it's all part of life. All I know is that this trip couldn't come at a more perfect time.

3. I worked my last shift today. Feels good. Happy to be done at that place for now, but sad to be leaving good friends.

4. 5 days until I leave. wow

5. I am really going to miss home-my family, my friends, my youth kids, my bed, my dogs, sweet hangouts. But with that all said I am so excited! I can't wait to see new places, meet new people, travel to new cities, see another part of this world. What a sweet experience!

2009-06-27T13:09:00.000-06:00

It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes like interesting
-The Alchemist

I just finished rereading The Alchemist for the second time. It is the type of book that I could read over and over again (If you haven't read it, I recommend you do). It is a book about finding purpose in life and living out your personal legend. It is about having goals and dreams and learning to chase them and not let the fear of failure hold you back.

What would life be if we did not dream, have goals, ambitions, hopes, a purpose? Life is not life without these things. New inventions would not be created if people didn't follow their dreams. Lives would not be changed if people didn't follow their dreams. The world wouldn't be the way it is if people didn't follow their dreams.
I would not be living if I did not have a passion for the things I loved. I would not be living if I did not dream about everything I can and will do. I would not be living if I don't try to accomplish everything I want to do. Life is too short not to chase dreams and follow my purpose. Like it says, the possibility of having dreams come true is what makes life exciting.

2009-06-24T21:56:00.001-06:00

I just booked my flight from Budapest to Rome!!
Rome here we come!!
Yesssss!

2009-06-23T21:44:00.001-06:00

Yesterday I betrayed Java Express and got Starbucks. Tsk tsk.
Who can resist the cups with sweet sayings on them though...I sure can't.
Mine said this and I liked it, so here you go..

In a world where celebrity equals talent, and where make-believe is called reality, it is important to have real love, truth and stability in your life.
-Bernie Brillstein

We are a society too wrapped up in a reality that isn't actually real. Supposed real happiness that will be fulfilled if we only get the newest and best product. Supposed real beauty that will be obtained if we only use this or that product. Supposed real perfect lives with perfect beginnings and endings, cause that's how every movie works out, so my life must work out that way too.
Too much fake has been substituted for real that we don't even know what's real and what's not anymore.
Realness is so refreshing in a world that's so full of fake things. Real love, real friendships, real truths, real pain, real goals, real hurt, real dreams, real hopes, real passions, real purpose. In a world where fake is our reality, find whats real and hold onto it.

2009-06-16T18:58:00.000-06:00

Lastnight I spent the night screaming my face off as these 4 beautiful men sang songs to me! It was absolutely amazing and everything that I had hoped it would be! I'm pretty sure nothing will ever top this concert except maybe another Coldplay concert. My life is pretty much complete! I love Chris Martin...

2009-06-04T18:23:00.000-06:00

I want to be thoroughly used up when I die
-Three Cups of Tea

Last weekend I spent many hours of saturday waiting in the Calgary airport for my connecting flight to Waterloo. First off I love airports. I love the feeling that you get from them. People going places, on new adventures, to new things they don't know and have never seen but people also coming home to things and places they know. Secondly, the time I spent in the airport, was spent reading a really good book called Three cups of Tea. (If you haven't read it you probably should) It is about an American named Greg Mortenson whose mission is to promote peace in Pakistan by building schools for girls. In a time when America was fighting terror and war with bombs, Mortenson was fighting it with books.
First off, the things that Mortenson accomplishes and does as one man striving to make this world a better place, shows me that you really can accomplish anything if you have passion. If I can accomplish half of what he has, my life will be a success and I know that I will have changed lives.
At one point in the book, Mortenson is in Kabul after 9/11, a time when conflict and fighting are at their peak. He is making plans to buy supplies and get them to a site for a new school-a dangerous task at any time but especially at this time of so much conflict. An American reporter named Julie Bergman, who is no stranger to the area and its conflicts offers to go with him. When she steps off the plane she is wearing a necklace that says "I want to be thoroughly used up when I die." This line really got me thinking about my life and how I want to live it. This last year has been a very defining year for me-I essentially figured out who I am, what I stand for, what I want to accomplish, my purpose, goals and dreams, just to name a few. I realized I just want to make a difference and change lives in any way possible. All this comes back to a point that I think this saying excellently sums up, that I want to put everything I have into living my life. I want to put everything I have into living my life for what drives me and what my passions are so that someday when I die I can look back and know that I gave everything I have to give. Life is what we make of it, right? So why sit back on comfortable and settle for a life of things that are familiar when you could reach a little further and have so much more? Why sit back and save yourself and save your energy? What are you saving it for? Why not use it right now, while you can, use it to make a difference, to do something that someday you will be able to look back on and say yes I was thoroughly used up. I hope that in life I am able to give everything I have to what I love and what I am passionate about. I hope that I can be used to change lives and change this world and in doing so, I hope I am thoroughly used up.

2009-05-31T20:07:00.000-06:00

Jill and Alicia (aka Neb and Pingle) take QC '09! Watch out Quebec, here we come- you won't know what hit you!

2009-05-27T11:53:00.000-06:00

Today, my sister Jill, takes the final steps towards the beginning of a new chapter in her life. She is writing her boards and then she will be a Doctor! Four years has gone by in no time at all and it feels like just yesterday we were having a family hug sending her off to Waterloo.

From the time we were little, I have always looked up to her. Even though I was her annoying little sister, she was always willing to teach me the ropes and let me tag along. We were always a good team, whether it was as B-bop and Rocksteady taking on Jonny, or as ourselves taking on the world. Even more today than back then, do I look up to her. She is a strong, driven, determined and amazing person. She has taught me so much over the years and for that I am so thankful! She has a heart and a passion for what she does and for helping and changing peoples lives and she has already changed hundreds because of it and will continue to do so. She has accomplished so much and will continue to accomplish what she sets her heart to. She is someone that will truthfully change the world and I can't wait to do it with her! I am stoked of the things she has done but am really excited of the places that she will go and the things she will do. I am so proud of her!
Here's to you big sister! You have worked so hard and deserve the best! Good luck and Congratulations! xo

2009-05-24T22:25:00.000-06:00

Talks of travels, and places we truly love and could talk about for hours made me think about the place that stole my heart.
My heart misses this place more than anything...

2009-05-19T22:30:00.000-06:00

I love best friends who I can tell absolutely anything to and who are there through it all.
I love old friends who I never see but can start off from where we left off when we get together.
I love realness and being able to talk about life, passions and goals.
I love feeling empowered and like I really can change the world.
I love feeling like I really am making a difference and changing peoples lives.
I love the endless possibilities of where life will take me and what I will do.
I love Africa and what it has given to me.
I love my youth kids and what they have taught me and shown me.

2009-05-14T17:29:00.000-06:00

The countdown:
127 days until I see Kaleigh..
55 days until Europe..
32 days until Coldplay..
16 days until Jill and I go to Quebec..
1 day until Sandra comes to see me..

So many good things to look forward to!

Van lost out. Stupid Chicago! Now there's no one left to cheer for. Brutal!

2009-05-06T21:27:00.000-06:00

Sometimes I feel so inadequate, so unprepared and too small to accomplish the things I want to do. I want to change the world but yet I am one small, insignificant girl from Regina, SK. Who am I to make a difference and change this world. Feeling inadequate hinders me from taking chances, risks and taking steps forward. I fall back on comfortable because I'm inadequate to move forward; I fall back on things I know I am able to do, things that far more match up to my size. Being inadequate has became an excuse for sitting back, for not moving forward out of my comfort zone, for not becoming who I could become if I really tried.

An even greater fear of mine that I cover up with my fear of being inadequate, is the fear of what I truthfully could do and accomplish if I let myself be used. Labelling myself as inadequate sets up a wall against being used and stretched in ways I don't want to be. Sitting back saying who am I to do this, who am I to do that, is far easier than putting yourself in a vulnerable position that you have no control over. Giving up control is never easy, especially if it means uncomfortable and awkward situations may come of it. It's easier to keep control and sit back, then to let go and leave everything you know.

I am terrified by the ways god would use me and stretch me if I honestly let him. Even though its terrifying, it is also so exciting at the endless possibilities I would be faced with and the things I would do and the power I would have. I pray that I will give up that control and that I will let myself be used. Sitting back on comfortable, telling yourself you're inadequate will never get you anywhere and it won't change this world; letting yourself be used in powerful ways will!

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of god. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
-Marianne Wiliiamson

2009-04-24T00:09:00.001-06:00

Freedom!

Van sweeps...get stoked!

2009-04-15T11:44:00.000-06:00

This is a bittersweet time of year; the best and the worst time: playoffs and finals.

Playoffs start tonight. Stoked. Good thing I only write 3 finals and don't have much studying to do, otherwise watching hockey would get picked over studying, everytime, but now I can do both.

I get bugged for switching hockey teams all the time but i say who cares, i can cheer for whoever i want to cheer for.
vancouver has been up there for awhile on my list, mostly cause of willie mitchell, and they actually did really good this year, so me and jonny decided they're our playoff team. awesome. Go Canucks!

3 finals left and then i am free....

2009-04-06T00:14:00.000-06:00

When we are first aware of our own brokenness, our eyes are opened to see our own faces in the faces of the oppressed and to see our own hands in the hands of the oppressors. Then we shall all be truly free
-Shane Clairborne

This has been a constant prayer of mine over the last couple of months; a pray of being broken so that I can truthfully see the brokenness around me. Society has deemed brokenness as something so unworthy and unwanted; to be broken is to be of less value than of something that is untouched and in one piece. To God it is something completely opposite; something worthy, and wanted. It used to not make sense to me why God would call us to become so broken, but finding out the vulnerability, instability and rawness that brokenness causes, and having everything striped away, I have figured out the endless room it leaves for God to create, restore and truthfully show us whats going on. Living the comfortable western life we do, we are too often blinded by our "perfect" world and close our eyes to the real world. But God calls us to open our eyes, and to let him utterly and completely break us so that we can fight for this world and in turn be truly free.
I hope that God continues to break my heart for what breaks his and that in my brokenness I live to make a difference; a difference of love, hope, and change.

2009-04-02T21:42:00.001-06:00

The countdown is on.....
5 days of classes
3 finals
2 presentations
1 paper

Then I am free!

3 months and a couple days until Europe
74 days until coldplay
19 days until the Weakerthans
8 days until I see Sandra.

Yess!
I cannot wait for flip flops, flats, shaken iced tea lemonades and sunglasses...

2009-03-29T23:36:00.000-06:00

Its been a couple weeks now since I dislocated my finger and its still fat and swollen. I think its probably going to be that way for the rest of my life. oh well. sweet story at least.
i finally figured out how to upload pictures from my phone so here you go...

The dislocation:

The fat finger now:

on friday i turned 22. weird. melissa got me tim riggins for my bday, well not him (i wish) but mens health. but until i go find him, it will have to do!
it was a good weekend. fun times, friends, and good food!
hopefully i don't dislocate anymore fingers this year...

2009-03-25T00:03:00.000-06:00

The other day I was at shoppers and almost bought Men's Health purely for this reason

Taylor Kitsch aka Tim Riggins. Sooo dreamy!

2009-03-23T23:34:00.000-06:00

I found this when I was watching the video's on Jill's blog. It gave me goosebumps and reaffirms where my heart is at and what drives me. I live to make a difference, and to change this world one person at a time.

I am Hope
I am Dignity
I am Courage
I am Freedom
I am Powerful

2009-03-15T21:40:00.000-06:00

About 10 years ago, I heard Coldplay for the first time and it has been love ever since. Chris Martin is my future husband too by the way. For years I have been promising myself that someday I would go to their concert and I'm finally getting that chance! June 15th I will be watching these guys live and it will be unbelievable!!!! I am beyond excited!

2009-03-08T21:45:00.000-06:00

Little things

I'm following Jill's lead.
-i dislocated my finger tonight. i've had a lot of injuries but never a dislocation. theres a first time for everything. i took a picture, its sick...
-in a couple weeks i turn 22. crazy...
-life is busyy but good
-school is good but i'm definitely ready to be done for the semester
-i'm sick of winter. i just want to wear flats...stupid snowstorms in march
-lost is ridiculous!
-4 months until europe. i'm scared and so stoked all at the sametime

2009-02-19T22:54:00.000-06:00

two posts in one day. this has to be some kindof record.
if you asked me what my highlight of 2008 was i would probably say hanging out with the 40 some crazy youth kids at glen elm. 2009 has barely started and hanging out with those kids is already in the running for the highlight of this year.
sometimes they make me want to scream and pull my hair out, but who doesn't at some point or another. ask me about them sometime, or even better come hangout sometime. you won't regret it.

2009-02-19T11:49:00.000-06:00

i should be studying, but who actually studies on reading week, so i decided to procrastinate and follow jill's lead.

25 random facts you may or may not want to know about me.
1.shoes are my ultimate weakness. well actually lots of things are but i love shoes a little too much. i could wear a different pair of shoes everyday of the month and probably then some.

2.hockey and competitiveness are in my blood. if you've ever played cards with my dad you know what i'm talking about and i may not be as bad as him but i still like to win. and i love hockey. i started playing when i was 7 and played it competitively until i was 18. it was the only sport i continuously played competitively throughout my life and so it will always be apart of me and my favourite!

3. i love kicking the snow out from under cars..its one of those little random pleasures in life

4.last semester i figured out what i want to do with my life and its the best feeling in the world. its cool to have my passion match up with what i'm doing in school and knowing that i'm going to do it for the rest of my life is awesome!

5.Africa has my heart! i love everything about it-the people, the smell, the sounds, the songs, the smiles! It will always be one of my first loves

6. i LOVE to travel! i love everything about it. airports are one of my favourite places. i'm always thinking up plans in my head about where i could go next. hopefully someday they all work out.

7.i love flip-flops, flats and sandals so much that i will wear them even when it's cold and there is snow outside. if it's -40 not so much, but anything above -10 is do-able

8.my family is greatest! the slywka side is loud and crazy in a good way, and the patterson side is pretty deadily! some of the best laughs are when the fam gets together!

9. if you don't know me very well or are just getting to know me, i am super shy and can be kindof awkward. i'm not very good at conversation. but don't let that fool you, cause if you get to know me i am the total opposite and sometimes i can't shut-up. you can tell that i'm really comfortable with someone when sarcasm and jokes come out.

10.i started hanging out with 20 of the craziest, funnest teenagers this year and they rock my world!

11.i am a sucker for pop music

12. wedding dances are my all time favourite. a little rasputin, mj and polka mixed with me and my bro always equals a good time!

13. i live to make a difference. if i die poor but have changed lives and made a difference my life will be successful

14. as of late my favourite hockey player is willie mitchell. mostly because i love his name, its not even that great but for some reason it makes me laugh, so that makes him my favourite player! hes actually pretty decent too, and is number 8, my favourite number that i wore for years. also a couple games ago he came out to warm-up with a 9-foot stick because the calgary coach was saying he played with an illegal stick. ha!

14(b) lots of times my reasons for liking things are as simple as i think he has a sweet name or i like the colour of it.

15. my favourite thing to do first thing in the morning after i wake up, is make breakfast and watch sportscentre. i love jay and dan. this is the tom-boy in me coming out...

16.i'm a procrastinator to the max, i get this from my bro. this applies especially when there is lots of things around to distract me like tv and the computer. (such as now, i should be writing a paper) half of the time i work better under pressure anyways...

17.me, my bro and my sis are super tight. we have the best time when we all get together. me and jonny crack the awesomiest jokes on a daily basis.

18. shopping is therapeutic for me. if i'm having a bad day, even going out looking at stuff without buying anything makes me feel better. its also another weakness of mine...

19. sandra always knows how to make me smile and feel better

20. two christmas's ago i went to a liverpool game in england and saw two of my favourite players play and it was a dream come true. ever since then i've decided that before i die i am going to hit up every one of my favourite major sporting events. this past summer i went to the us open and saw fed play..amazing!

21. in highschool i was a long-distance runner but then i got injured and gave it up. looking back now i wish i had never quit. i've started running again and decided that someday i am going to run a marathon. it will take alot of effort and training but will be totally worth it.

22. i'm the worst at confrontation and try to avoid it at all costs.

23.i am going on the greatest adventure with two of the awesomiest girls this summer. at some points i'm scared out of my mind but i'm also excited beyond belief. i'm excited to be stretched and changed.

24. normally i'm a pretty calm, easy-going person but that all changes when i play sports. as i said competitiveness is in my blood and i like to win. it often times brings out my temper and angry side...

25.i am always injured or bruised or have something wrong with me, thats cause i always play hard and its just who i am. ha, it hasn't been so good on the body though and sometimes i feel like i'm in a 50 year olds body. i'm only 21 and already have really weak ankles and a screwed up knee, but it won't stop me. i'm tough and will always try to play through it. once when i was 13 i broke my shoulder playing hockey and tried to keep playing...

2009-02-10T17:39:00.001-06:00

I'm Hungary....

If you've ever spent time with me, guaranteed you've heard me say this a time or two or maybe more. If I was one of those dolls that said sayings every time you pulled a string, this would be one of them. So it's kindof funny and pretty destined that I'm going to Hungary for 5 weeks in the summer. Crazy how that works..

There are some things in life that don't work out and were just never meant to be, and there are some things that just fall into place and you know that it was completely meant to be, even though it may not have been in the plans. Its crazy how fast God can make things like this work out. In one week, I started out only thinking about going on LST and then by the end of that same week, I was fully committed to going and everything fell perfectly into place. If that wasn't reassurance enough about going, this last weekend, which was spent at the IT weekend in Medicine Hat, reaffirmed that this is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing and that no matter how busy I am this semester or what else is going on, God will make it work. It also reaffirmed the fact that I'm going on this trip with two other girls that were also meant to go. A couple years ago I didn't even know these girls and now we are preparing for one of greatest adventures ever together; how cool is that! I'm stoked for a summer of teaching, being taught, sharing my faith, and cracking sweet jokes with Joy and Joni! Can't get much better than that!

Africa will always have my heart! Being the first place I traveled, it will always be my first love. Someday I am excited to hopefully go back there and use what I've learned in school to change lives and be changed. I also know that my heart will be able to love many other places and for that I'm so excited to experience a new place; a place that is completely foreign to me, a place that can potentially get my heart as excited as Africa does. That thought just makes me so excited!

What a sweet thing to have in 2009! There is so much potential and possibility and I'm stoked beyond belief...

2009-02-04T21:49:00.000-06:00

As much as I've tried to sum up what my heart feels for Africa, its hard to do. In all my attempts at it, this is exactly how my heart feels and it sums it up perfectly, and says it in a way that I never could. Like it says, I need Africa more than it needs me!

2008-12-31T16:53:00.000-06:00

Another year almost come and gone. Another year older but wiser? maybe.
This year was the year of change, growth, and learning who i am.
learning what i stand for and what i live for.
learning to let go and when to hold on.
learning new things and remembering old.

highlights: roadtrips, new friends, old friends, rihanna/kanye concerts, good laughs, good memories, youth, school.

2009 is shaping up to be good. Starting off with a little piece of africa coming into my regina world. More school and a trip to europe are also in the works. awesome.

happy new year.

2008-12-02T23:45:00.000-06:00

want to do something different for christmas?
here's an idea:

or check out Jill's blog for a whole bunch of other ideas

only 23 days until christmas!

2008-11-17T22:57:00.000-06:00

I saw this on the Rick Mercer Report last week. Even though the elections over with now it still made me laugh. I especially like Jack Layton.

2008-11-11T17:03:00.000-06:00

the countdown is on:
17 days of classes left
35 days until fall semester is completely over,
5 finals, 5 papers, 3 group presentations, 1 midterm and then its all done
45 days until christmas
21 days until my sister gets home
18 days until sandra and erin come to visit and means plays their last show.

life is busy, but i love it.
studying and school consumes most of my time. OC episodes make for the best study breaks, especially season 3 with johnny.
hangout at youth a couple times a week. i love those kids.
i've been craving sushi/indian food for about two weeks now. still haven't gotten either.
freezing rain today, which means crappy roads. i've been stuck in my house all day.
rink boards went up this weekend. hopefully snow will come soon cause then it means shinny and latenight skates
november long weekend is pretty much over which means pull out the christmas music

2008-11-03T23:51:00.000-06:00

Silence, in the society we live in today, is something we know very little about. There is a constant noise and busyness that can't be taken away. This is the way we've made it and the way we want it to be. We have become so accustomed to noise that we can't live without it and are afraid to. Silence is something that has become very negative and something that most people try to avoid on a daily basis. We have countless ways to fill it- TV, radio, computer, telephone. We have made it so that don't have to experience "awkward silence" as we like to call it.
Why is it this way though? Why has silence become such a bad thing?
Western society is a society built around convenience-everything is made so that we can just go and go and never stop. We are a fast-paced, busy society based on time-saving devices and plans that help us maximize the amount of time we have. We have made it so that we are always going and have something to do and therefore avoid the silence.
Being in Africa and getting to see how they live life makes you slow down and really take a look at how western society has made it so we've missed the point. African's live a life that is slow-paced and is absent of noise. It is so simple but yet so appealing. Technology and labor saving devices don't run their lives. They aren't worried about maximizing their time or having alot to do or aren't scared of silence. Because of their slow-paced lifestyle, they are able to hear silence and don't dread it, they are able to put value and focus on things that really matter like relationships, that many times we push to the back burner due to our busyness. They are able to focus on other people when we are too busy worrying about OUR own time to think about anyone else. They are able to look around them and see the world, where we are too busy to even notice it. We have become so afraid of silence that we do everything we can to avoid it but in doing that we lose everything else and everything it has to offer.

Maybe we think we don't have time to slow down? or maybe we think it will cause mayhem if we do? or maybe we're too scared to, cause if we do, we'll hear god and he'll tell us things we don't want to hear?
Either way I think its time to slow down. Take a second and listen and you'll hear things you've never heard before. Take a look around you and realize whats really going on in this world. Take the focus off yourself for a minute and put it on someone else and you'll see a world of change. Stop worrying about maximizing your time and you'll feel like you have all the time in the world. and maybe you will hear god and he will take you unbelievable places you never imagined you would go.
No matter what, its worth a shot.

2008-10-23T22:21:00.000-06:00

why live inside the lines,
when you can step outside and have the whole world in front of you?

why sit still and stay quiet,
when you have the oppurtunity of a voice and can be change?

why live for the norm when it's something you barely care about,
when you can live passionately for the odd thing out?

why settle for a life of routine and comfort,
when you can live a life that takes chances, breaks routine and makes a difference?

why live for yourself and make no difference,
when you can live for others and change the world?

2008-09-24T17:52:00.001-06:00

Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who are alive

-Howard Thurman

2008-09-07T21:07:00.000-06:00

Dear whom it may concern,
don't really know why I'm writing this letter or to who it will go to. Maybe its to myself and this is the way that I need to see it, in writing so I can fully understand the things that go through my head. or maybe it's to whoever will read this or some random person that i don't even know.
I wish i had all the answers to life. or i at least wish you could tell me, or anyone for that matter. Why things happen and where i'm supposed to go and what i'm supposed to do. I just wish i could figure it all out. i wish i could make things fall into place. I wish i knew if this was all going to be worth it in 10 years or if i am just wasting my time. I guess thats not the point of life though and knowing would be no fun. Its just so uncertain sometimes that it scares me.
I'm stuck, stuck in a place that i have tried time and time again to get out of but can't find a way out. I'm stuck in a cycle that just keeps pushing me back, back to a place I don't want to be. Contentment is rare these days. I wish i could settle and feel peace in this city like i used to but for some reason i can't seem to find it. Maybe its cause this place is changing and the people i care about it are changing with it and i'm not and am changing in different ways. or maybe its cause so many things-good and bad- have happened to me here over the last couple of years and i just need to get away from them. Or maybe it will just take time. or maybe i just need to get out and start fresh. sometimes i wish i could start over here and go back and do things differently or take back things i've done or said but i guess thats why its called regret. and i guess what has happened has made me who i am today but i still wonder where i would be if things were different. but i guess No matter what the cause or whats going to fix it i need something. Something new, something different, something bigger, greater than what i'm living right now. I need something to stir something up inside of me. And i wish people would care like they used to. When did it become so cool to be so apathetic. I guess thats part of the change that i missed. I miss realness and truth.
Maybe my discontentment has something to do with Africa? Who knows. What i do know is that my heart itches for that place. I long to walk its roads and sing its song. Its a broken nation and that has broken me. and maybe i'm not content here because i long for the simplicity and passion africa has. It knows how to complete me, and how to fill something that feels like it's missing. I guess that's what happens when it steals your heart.
I'm back in the routine of school and for once it feels right and where i need to be. Starting something new is always hard but its refreshing and it means no more science or labs. That makes me smile all in its self. Hopefully school will keep feeling right cause at this point nothing else really does.
I guess that pretty much sums up whats been going on inside of me the last few months. A constant battle against myself and my mind that i can't seem to win. but it is what it is so take it how you want it.

Alicia

2008-06-17T14:00:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I bought a plane ticket to NYC. I'm going at the end of August with my bro to hit up the US open. I haven't been to New York since I was 11 and so I'm pretty stoked. I'm also excited to get to go to the US open and see Federer play. Something I want to do before I die is hit up all my favourite major sporting events. 2 down, like 5 more to go.

My best friend is getting married this weekend. I can't believe how fast time goes by. It feels like just yesterday we were making up sweet games in my basement and now shes getting married. I'm super excited for both of them and am honored to be a part of their special day.

I've started figuring out things for next summer. Its coming along but theres still so much more to do. Even though its like 11 months away, I'm still super excited for it and can't wait to get back to Africa.
My heart misses that place.

Euro 2008 is on right now. I love this time every 4 years. Its kind of disappointing cause England's not in it this year but I've got a new favourite team. Spain is going to take it. Torres is prime and hes dreamy. Unbeatable combination.

2008-05-20T20:32:00.001-06:00

Check this out:

COLDPLAY
MTS Centre
Winnpeg, Manitoba
August 1

so stoked!!!

2008-05-15T21:48:00.001-06:00

This last weekend, the African Children's Choir came to town and man are those kids cute and can they sing and dance. If you've never seen them before, you need to find out when their coming near you and go see them. They will steal your heart. Check them out here- www.africanchildrenschoir.com

Besides getting to see them perform 3 times, by far the best part was having 3 of the boys and one of the chaperone's stay at our house.
Its been 2 years since I've been to Africa and lately my heart has been itching for it and so having 3 little Africans in my house was just the thing that it needed. Even though their stay was so short, I fell in love with them and was so sad to see them go and will miss coming home to their big smiling faces.
Having them here reminded me of why I love Africa so much. I mean i love Africa for so many reasons but one of the biggest reasons is the kids. And seeing these kids who have come from places I can't even imagine and who have seen things my eyes will never see and have absolutely nothing, but yet have more hope than i do and have faith beyond their years, it is absolutely amazing and it just gives me so much hope and reminds me of my passion and why i love Africa so much.

What i really want to do is quit my job and hop on a bus with these guys and finish off their 7 months of tour but thats not realistic right now and so thats not going to happen. But the plans are definitely swirling in my head and hopefully its not long before I get to go back to Africa and maybe even do something with Music for life/African Children's Choir.

To finish it off heres a picture of my 3 sweet boys

2008-03-03T20:31:00.000-06:00

Its been along time and so its about time for some updates:
-as of today i officially have a new job and so that means that i only have two more weeks at java. its been good but its time to get out of there. my new job is at a law firm doing clerical work. not the most thrilling job but hopefully it will be a good change from java
-i finally have a plan for school. i'm going to be in a new program called heath studies. its a combination of a KHS and arts. its kind of like international development but the science side of it, which is right up my alley. i'm super stoked for it and glad to finally have a goal and a plan
-i'm going to a kanye west/rihanna concert in may and its going to be great. super pumped.
-i'm making plans to go back to africa at the end of the summer. i miss that place so much. i left a piece of my heart there when i went in 2006 and have been itching to go back ever since. i'm not getting my hopes up just in case it doesn't work out but hopefully it all comes through and i will get to go back to the place that i'm in love with.

life is good these days. i'm learning to be content and live for today and just be happy with where i'm at. and its great. i definitely can't complain.

2008-01-07T00:28:00.000-06:00

After two weeks in rainy England, a sleepless 24 hours and a what felt like a million hours of flying we are finally home from our Christmas in York.
I don't even know where to begin to tell you what we did, cause our 2 weeks there were so packed full of awesome adventures, sightseeing and shopping, but over all it was great! A sweet Slywka/Walsh/Patterson adventure that will go down in the books...

For me, easily the greatest part of the whole trip was getting to experience this...

Manchester City vs. Liverpool

and see my favourite team (Liverpool) and these 2 guys play...

Fernando Torres
&
Steven Gerrard

Here are some other shots from our trip...

Going for Betty's famous spiced hot chocolate

Eddy eating a gourmet burger

A trip to Whitby and cheap umbrellas that break when its pouring rain

Eating Grasmere Gingerbread- Carb Tour '07

Climbing the minster tower

Family shot in front of the minster

2007-12-14T18:19:00.000-06:00

The countdown has begun, only 2 days and then I climb onto a plane and am off to have christmas with the queen. I can't believe its almost already here. It feels like just days ago me, brittany, jon, and jill were coming up with this idea and trying to sell my parents on it, and now its only days away. It doesn't even really feel real yet. It probably won't until I climb off the plane to meet up with Jill in the heathrow airport. Despite how much everyone hates England, I love it and can't wait to go back. Accents, football, tea, Burberry- what more could you ask for. So greatt!!

For some reason, for the last month and a bit I've been thinking alot about the last couple of years of my life and whats going on right now and whats going to happen in the future. Maybe its cause its almost a new year or by nature I'm a overthinker but no matter the reasons its been good to think about.

Its funny how at the time when something bad happens you think nothing can ever be as bad as this or that nothing will ever fix it, and you can't see the good in it. Thats not how it works. It takes time to see it like that.
In the last 3 years alot of change has happened to me and I grew up alot. There was good things, bad things and really ugly things. There were some pretty crappy things that happened to me, and I did some pretty crappy things too, and now thats its been so long since everything happened I've been able to realize that it all happened for a reason even though other people or I couldn't realize it at the time. At the time everything that happened seemed so huge and like such a big deal, but now thats its over and done with I look back and only realize that everything that happened was actually pretty small, but it all fit together to make me who I am today. So even though it was hard I guess i can say I'm happy that it all went down the way it went down cause thats how it was supposed to be.

Thinking about what all happened in the last couple of years got me thinking about our lives and how god has it pretty much mapped out for us but how we make little decisions here and there that could totally change the outcome or put us in a different place. Its weird to think that if I had said one thing differently or spoke up when I was quiet or kept my mouth shut I could be in a different spot than I'm in now. Thinking about how 1 little thing can make a difference got me thinking about this semester and how I was supposed to be in York with Britt. We had it all planned out but then at the last minute it fell through for me and I obviously didn't get to go. At the time, I remember being super upset about it and pretty disappointed that i had to stay in Regina, and probably for the first month I would have rather been in York than here but now that the semester is done and I can look back on it, I realize now that I wasn't supposed to be in York and that if I had gone I wouldn't be hanging out with the people I'm hanging out with, I wouldn't have done the things I've done this semester and I wouldn't be having the fun I'm having and things would be completely different and I would be a different person. This is probably lame, but its kind of like a puzzle, if you look at one piece its nothing but when its in the big puzzle its significant and makes sense. Now I can see how it all fits in and why it happened.

So the here and now. Life is good. I'm just hanging out, having fun, trying to figure things out, getting to hangout with who i need to hangout with and just enjoying life. I can't complain...

That leaves the future. My future has never been more uncertain than it is now but I've finally come to realize that thats okay and I don't have to have things figured out. I do know that I'm taking next semester off again and will just be working and by next fall I'm hoping to be back at school. But other than that its undetermined. I have no clue where I will be, or where school will take me or what gods going to do. But i know it will work out and I will end up where I'm supposed to be and that things will work out accordingly. So I've stopped worrying. It only stressed me out.

So I guess those are my ramblings and my unorganized thoughts. hopefully it made sense. But I should be off, I"m still not packed.
To the two of you that read my blog (which is probably my mom and my sister) merry christmas and I'll tell the queen you say hi.
See you in 2008!

2007-10-18T00:58:00.001-06:00

the other day i was watching tv and this commercial came on.
check it out....

no wonder theres so many young girls with eating disorders and self-esteem problems..

2007-05-11T16:50:00.000-06:00

yet again its been awhile since i last posted something.
so i decided it was about time for a summer blog.
i stole this idea from a friend.
its going to be a blog of things i love.

i love chocolate
i love my friends
i love being tanned
i love africa
i love seeing people i haven't seen in along time
i love laughing so hard you cry
i love the feeling of getting things accomplished
i love being with people
i love being alone
i love rainstorms
i love driving in my car when its raining so you don't get wet
i love new shoes
i love summer
i love the way it smells after it rains
i love feeling like i've made a difference
i love when my family gets together
i love the feeling that something is so good that it gives you goosebumps
i love sincere compliments
i love shaken iced tea lemonades
i love big sunglasses
i love buying new cds and opening them up and listening to them for the first time
i love listening to music really loud in my car
i love when my favourite song comes on the radio
i love haircuts and the way your hair feels after them
i love swimming
i love walking to school listening to means on my ipod
i love having crushes
i love feeling loved
i love my sweatpants
i love coming home to my own bed after a long trip
i love burnt cds
i love my family
i love being able to do something that someone else can't do
i love old books that you reread over and over again
i love looking at the stars
i love that i have a couple really close friends that know everything about me
i love how sometimes i don't have to talk and people know what i'm thinking
i love my family
i love knowing all the words to a song
i love giggling
i love naps
i love making other people happy
i love smiling
i love the smell of your clothes after you sit around a fire
i love feeling like everything is great and nothing could go wrong
i love painted toe nails
i love my favourite sweater on a cold day
i love how my brother always tells me he loves me
i love how close me, my brother and sister are
i love finding things you totally forgot you had
i love catching eyes with a cute stranger
i love getting new make-up
i love having direction and a goal for my life
i love african babies
i love the feeling and smell of my house
i love finding new songs and artists that no one else has ever heard of before
i love the feeling of your toes in sand
i love drinking tea
i love going on adventures with my friends
i love looking around and getting encouraged by the people i have in my life
i love learning new things
i love remembering old things

2007-03-09T11:57:00.000-06:00

so its been a good two months since i last wrote a blog. i just haven't really been feeling it lately and haven't really had the energy to sit down and write something.
but here i am again. i'm back from the dead

the reason why i found time to write is because i've been sick for the last few days. and i dont feel like sleeping anymore and i've watched more than enough tv. and so i decided to write a blog to switch it up a bit.
i've decided that being sick is a bittersweet thing. when i was little i used to love being sick because it meant that you got to stay in bed all day watching tv. and got to eat jello and drink gingerale. but now that i'm older its not as great as it used to be. i mean its great and all but after awhile i just want to get out of the house and be social again.
And in elementary school, i never got to miss school unless i was sick. so when you did get to miss it was great. but in university you can skip whenever you want and so it doesnt have as much of an appeal as it used to.

i have found a great thing to do when i'm sick though. and even when im not sick its great too.
its watching the seasons of lost.
as of a couple weeks ago i had never watched an episode of this show in my life. i had just heard about it from friends that had watched it, and to be honest i wasnt really interested in it because i had my oc. but then the oc ended and i needed something to do. so one weekend me and tiff borrowed a friends season one and watched the whole thing in 4 days. and oh man was it ever great. if you've never watched it, you should. start from the beginning and watch it. its the type of show that keeps you on your toes and makes you jump. not the best show to watch at 2 in the morning but good none the less.

i know im like the millionth person to do this, but you know what else is good. the new means cd. and if you havent bought it. go buy it, cause its great and your supporting 4 great guys who are doing amazing things and who are working so hard.
seriously, you won't be disappointed.

but thats enough for know.
maybe i'll go read a textbook or do some homework.

2007-01-03T12:22:00.000-06:00

Today i pulled myself out of bed just in time to watch one of the greatest rivals known to man- Canada vs. the United States. and today it was one for the books.
oh man was it intense. I paced back and forth in my kitchen, chewing my nails while screaming at the tv. and it must of helped, because finally after 3 periods, 1 overtime and 7 shooters, Canada came out on top.
Watching it reminded me of how much i love hockey and how much i miss playing it. seriously, what a great sport.

so if you havent watched any of the world juniors yet, you probably should, cause its classic and after todays win, Canada is going to the final and will take the title once again.

2006-12-07T23:43:00.000-06:00

i should probably be in bed right now seeing as i write my first final tomorrow. but i had a nap today and so if i tried to sleep i dont think i would be very successful.
so im using this time as blogging time seeing as i have no other time to it, since all i do is study these days.

well this week, my heart was saddened by the fact that a very good friend from Zambia, named John Kambulu passed away. I still dont want to believe it. I feel like im in a bad dream and that if i flew back to Zambia today he would meet me at the airport with a huge smile on his face, but the reality is that he won't. I was so blessed to be able to go back to Zambia this summer and really get to know him better. I do have fond memories of him from 2003 but they are not as great as the ones i have from this past summer. So many good memories of sing alongs around the campfire, him coming over for sunday night prayer group, him helping us unpack the container, me and him cracking jokes together, me, tiff and alisha walking through town and hearing someone honking the horn furiously at us, and it being John offering us a ride. John was an amazing guy and everyone who knew him loved him. Zambia will definitely miss him and so will I and everyone else who knew him.

This whole situation made me realize and put alot of things into perspective this week. Before Wednesday i was starting to get really stressed out about school, and finals, and i didnt know how i was going to get all the studying done that i needed to get done, and i was a wreck. But then hearing about Johns death made me slow down and realize that even though school is my life right now and that its very important to me, that in the grand scheme of life it truthfully doesnt matter that much.
So what if i fail a class? it may be an F on my transcript, but who cares. God doesnt look at my transcripts and think "oh man Alicia failed ______ way back in 2nd year university. Thats a point against her" its just a class. thats all it is. there are so many more important things in life. like my family, my friends, my relationship with god. yeah i want to go to school and get a good education and im so blessed that i get the oppurtunity to do that, but why stress about it to the point where i will sometimes even cry because im so worried about it. how is that going to help? its not. so i just need to relax and realize that im going to do as best as i can do. thats all. and if someone else thinks that my trying my hardest deserves a grade of failing then I'm okay with it. Its not going to kill me.

another thing. i really really want to be in africa right now. the other day i was looking at some of kellis pictures from kenya and it made me realize how badly i miss it. i miss the kids, seeing them smile and giggle, the places, the smell, the people, the dancing, the singing, the language. everything. i just want to be there.

but i truthfully should go to bed.
my worst nightmare is that i would sleep through an exam, so i should go to bed so that doesnt happen, even though my exam is at 2:00 pm. It could happen.

but goodluck to all who are writing exams.
and dont stress. its not worth it.

2006-12-03T17:28:00.000-06:00

So crunch time is here.
the part of the semester that I have been dreading the whole time has finally come. and thats Finals. As of monday classes are officially over and its just finals left to write.

my exam schedule could be worse but it could be better. i end up writing my two hardest finals on the same day. which right now im dreading but when there done, it will be okay. because in 1 day i will go from being not quite half done 3/4 done.

so in two weeks from now i will be free from school.
so if anybody wants to play crib or go on sweet adventures call me in two weeks becuase i will actually have a life again.

2006-11-28T20:47:00.000-06:00

1 lab final down, 1 to go.

and then 5 finals. and then im done

only 12 days until jonny gets home
only 22 days until jill gets home
only 27 days until christmas

i'm excited
i love christmas

2006-11-22T15:00:00.001-06:00

so two weekends ago i got to go to ontario to visit my sister. oh man it was great. it was nice to get away from little old regina and school and go visit the place my sister calls home. and my sister is the greatest. so motivated and so driven. i wish i was as motivated as her. i miss her. but when we do get together its great. full of laughs and me bugging her. and just an all around good time. we take really sweet pictures too.

only a little bit less than a month left of school and then i am done for christmas holidays. i can't wait. it will be nice to not have to think about school or anything school related for 3 or 4 weeks.
and my sister comes home for christmas and my brother comes home too.
and then my whole family comes. it will be crazy. but i love it.

i dont know what im going to do with my life anymore. i thought i wanted to do physio but i was truly thinking about it the other day and i dont think that thats what i want to do.
maybe i'll do nutrition or something to do with disorders. who knows.

in the last few weeks i've really wanted to just get out of regina. first semester next year i'm planning on going to england for school. and so it will be good for me to get away and become independent. but this week there were some things that happened that really just made me want to get away. and now. i didnt want to have to wait until next year.
i'm sort of over it now though. i will stay here second semester go to school, work and make some money for england. and just live my life.

i dont deal well with drama, i never have and never will....
thats just the way i am.

well i've put my homework off long enough.
physics here i come.

2006-10-22T22:58:00.000-06:00

midterms officially sucked.
but now they are over and so life is good again.

the other night, me britt and jonny built the sweetest fort at 2:00 in the morning. its possibly the coolest thing since those slappy bracelets in elementary school. you know the ones.

sometimes i wish i was a kid again so all i could do was play cops and robbers and build forts,and go puddle jumping and have fun. but i'm not and all i get to do is study physiology and physics. now doesnt that sound fun?

2006-10-16T21:16:00.000-06:00

i've become really good at procrastinating over the last few weeks. i will do absolutely everything else in the world before i get to my studying. including write a blog. i should be studying for my physics midterm that is going to be the death of me but instead here i am writing a blog.
my studying can wait until tomorrow.
i will keep saying that and soon it will be to late.

over the last few weeks i've realized that trying to do all i have to do-study for midterms, get homework assignments done, have a life, work- and getting all those things done is really hard and has worn me done. Taking 5 classes with 2 labs and a part time job is starting to get to me and its only midterms. This last week I got really sick to the point of feeling like i could die but yet my life didnt stand still like it did in highschool, life went on as usually. it sucked to have to miss 2 days of classes because those were two days of classes where important things were learnt, that i would need to learn for my midterm. For example, one day i was sick i had psych class. Now in the psych class i missed we learnt that We WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO USE A PENCIl during the midterm and if we did, we would get a GRADE of 0. Now my two friends failed to mention this to me, and so i wrote my entire midterm with a pencil. and so i'm with the stress of maybe getting a 0. oh the joys of university.
who flipping cares if i used a pencil or a pen. it doesnt matter in the grand scheme of life. so why?

me and one of my best friends had a sweet talk tonight about life and why things are the way they are. I wonder why things are the way they are for me? i know that so many times in life, i am so quick to the point the finger at other people for not doing things in my life. (i dont know if that makes sense to you but it does to me) but why? why do i point the finger at other people when its my life? i should be pointing the finger at myself. and i should be looking at what i'm not doing and change it. if i want something, i wonder why im getting it, but i should think about how can i get that, and what can i do. i dont know if i make sense right now.

but whatever.
i really should go do some homework.
enough procrastinating.

2006-10-06T13:53:00.000-06:00

So to be honest i've been quite bad at this whole blogging thing lately. i guess i just havent gotten the hang of it yet. But today i managed to find time between studying for midterms, going to class, and working on assignments to write a blog.

this weekend is going to be a test of my time management skills. with lectureship, studying for midterms, having family here and working. but hopefully i will pass the test. Im excited to see people i havent seen for awhile. aka Sharon King who doesnt live here anymore. And also to see people that I hardly ever get to see because of my non-existant social life. thats what university does to you. well at least to me.

Even though I dont get to see some of friends very often I'm so thankful that I have the friends that I have. The other day i was thinking about Thanksgiving and being Thankful. I realized that for me and this probably goes for some others of you out there too, that Thanksgiving is the only time of year that i really stop to look at what i have and give thanks for it. But why? Why do we only wait for this one holiday a year to give thanks for all the things we have in life-a good life, family, friends, wealth, and the list could go on. Being in Africa this summer made me realize that we need to take the time so much more often to thank god for what we have, and to stop complaining. Probably everday I complain about how far i had to park away from univerisity and that there wasnt anything to eat for lunch, when truthfully, i only have to walk 10 mins to school and the fridge was full. And while I'm complaining about these little dumb things, there are people in Africa who have to walk for hours to get to school,if they even get the oppurtunity to go to school and don't even know where there next meal is coming from.
So i dont even have the right to complain when i live a life that is full of so many blessings.

And lets not only wait for thanksgiving to give thanks for what we have. lets do it all the time.

so i'm thankful for school, and for midterms(even though i complain), for my friends, my family, my job,my parking spot ten minutes away, my full fridge, the oppurtunties i have that other people dont have, and the list could go on.

2006-09-22T13:23:00.000-06:00

So lately i have been doing alot of thinking, some of it has been about school and school related things and stresses but most of it has been about life and the way im living it.

Before I went to africa this summer i was at what you may call a stand still. Nothing was really happeneing in my life but i was content to just sit there and let nothing happen. I was settling for things that before i wouldnt have settled for, and also I put my relationship with god to the back burner and put dumb worldly things ahead of him. And i was content to be like that.

But then i went to africa for the summer and something just clicked. Being taken out of my envirnoment that i had become numb to what was going on and getting to look back at it and see the whole picture made me realize that i didnt want to be content with those things anymore.

Africa was sort of like a cleansing process. I spent the summer with people who only had positive things to say and would encourage and lift you up. I didnt hear a single swear word or hear about the awesome party or about who was so drunk on the the weekend all summer. Getting taken from an environment where dumb little things played a huge role and getting placed in an environment where those little things didnt matter at all, felt great. To be honest it felt refreshing to be in an environment like that. Because living in the place that i had, i had become numb to everything around me, and so i didnt really notice or pay attention to what was going on, but then once i was placed into a different place and a whole new environment, i was shown what i hadnt been paying attention too.

And to be honest, i didnt want to leave africa and come back to the environment that i had left, and come home to the things i had left. But coming home i knew that i would. and the things that i left behind were the things that i realized that i didnt want to be content with anymore. I didnt want to come home to a stand still life that was empty. I wanted more. I still do want more.

But since being home, its so hard not to fall back into the routine of being content. And when all your friends are settling for things you dont want to settle for, its hard to be the odd one out and say no, i'm not settling for that. It would be so easy to just go along with everyone else because thats whats comfortable and thats whats easiest.

But to be honest, i dont want the comfortable anymore. I dont want to be content with those things. I'm sick of settling for things i dont want to settle for. and im also sick of seeing people who i know want so much more, settle for the little things they dont want.

so thats whats been on my mind lately.

so think about it. are you settling for things you dont want to settle for? are you content just because its comfortable?

..........

2006-08-23T20:27:00.000-06:00

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2006-08-23T15:09:00.000-06:00

okay. so i know i sort of slacked off this summer and didnt write very much. but i bet if you were in africa you would do the same thing. i did try and write a couple blogs, but for some reason it didnt work out and so i gave up. but know that i am home and have some time on my hands, i decided to write one final blog to tie up my summer.

so the last week in Africa was great. We went on a holiday to Bostwana and Zimbabwe. We got the pleasure of going on 3 game drives through Chobe National Park and went on 1 in Mosa-a-tunya, but only made it 3 km into the park because a herd of elephants decided that they wanted to stand on the road for awhile and wouldnt let us pass, so we eventually gave up and turned around and went home. Besides the game drives and seeing countless elephants, giraffes, hippos, a male and female lion, kudu, impala, and crocodiles, we also got to see Victoria Falls. Oh man, what a beautiful site. (If you ever have the chance to see it, do it because its amazing) It was the perfect time to see it because its just the end of the dry season and beginning of the wet season and so you can see it perfectly without getting to wet. The Zimbabwe side is most definitely the better side of the two but the Zambia side has its highlights too. We saw a guy come right up to the edge of the Zambia side and wave at us. Good thing he didnt fall off. We also got to see a Green Mamba on the Zambia side-an animal of Africa that I've never seen before and quite glad I haven't, and was quite glad I saw it with 3 Zambians around me to protect me. The thing about the Zimbabwe side is that you can walk right up the edge and look over the cliff, down the gorge. Its quite a rush to lie down and look over the edge, because theres nothing there to stop you from falling. After coming quite close to the edge I was very glad to get back on the path where i knew i was safe, and could't fall. What an amazing wonder of the world, and a great symbol of how amazing gods works are. Its beautiful.

After our holiday at Victoria Falls and Chobe, we headed home to Namwianga and eventually Canada. It was definitely sad and harder to leave Zambia this time then last. Mostly because of the people and the kids. This time I had become better friends with so many of the people and so it was so hard to say goodbye to them. Zambia definitely has a piece of my heart and someday for sure I will go back.

But know I am home in Canada and it feels good. Its been good to see people I didnt see all summer and hear about their summeres at home. Soon school will be starting and to be quite honest I'm ready to go back. My break has been a good one, full of new experiences, new friends, old frieds, life changing moments, cute kids, fun times, and so its been worth while but now I'm ready to go back and get back into the routine of school.
This years going to be a good one, I have a feeling. Partly because Sandra, Erin and Kayla are all moving here, and soon Britt will be back. I sure missed those girls.

So as you can tell my summer was amazing and if you have time I would be willing to tell you stories and show you pictures-not all of them because there are alot. And I want to hear about everyone elses summers too because I am sure there were as good as mine.
later
-alicia

2006-08-10T05:57:00.000-06:00

okay. so i havent written a blog since our first saturday in kalomo. i know..i've slacked off. i did write one a couple days ago but ended up losing it and decided to give up. But i decided that i would write a short one since tomorrow we leave on holidays.
Instead of writing everything down, i will just write the highlights.
-hanging out with the kids at the orphanage
-teaching Dumulu( a 5 year old boy at the orphange) how to play cats craddle-he learned in about half an hour.
-pulling into Siabilumbi the first day and being greeted by boys playing the drums and ladies dancing
-doing VBS with the kids at Siabilumbi
-singing, dancing and being crazy
-Chitonga lessons with my friend Dennis
-a makua vs. Zambian soccer game
-shopping trips to Chome and Kalomo
-going to the poorest part of Kalomo to visit our sponser student, and pulling in and seeing all the kids jumping up and down with huge smiles on their faces
-smiling at cute kids, and getting smiles back.
-making and meeting new friends
-connecting with old friends
-traditional zambian meal cooked by the kids
-traditional south african meal at the calders
-getting my hair braided-it was an experience-it took 2 and a half days
-getting dancing lessons from Zambian girls
-singing in Chitonga
-playing with cute kids
-dacning with the ladies at Siabilumbi
-hanigng out at the orphange here on the mission(The haven)
-carrying a baby on my back

Those are just a few of the highlights of the last couple weeks here in Zambian. There are so many more and will be more in the next week or so. Tomorrow we go on holiday to Botswana and Zimbabwe. After three hard weeks of VBS it will be a nice break. And then in a little more than a week, we will be home in Canada.
Thats sad. I love this place, and espically the people.
I'm definitly going to miss it.
But Sheperd just pulled up. I've got to go.
later
-alicia

2006-07-22T04:36:00.000-06:00

Well we are finally in Africa. We arrived in Lusaka on Tuesday after a fun 4 days in Belgium. We got to see so many places and meet lots of new people. One of the best parts of being in Belgium was playing soccer with Sam and Jonah(pronounced Yonah) on Sunday after church. They walked us to a little field a couple of blocks away and we played until lunch. After soccer we came back to the church and had lunch with them and then sang. It was fun to spend time with them and hear their stories. It was definitely one of the highlights.
And now we are in Africa and i love it here. We have done quite a bit and so i will just highlight the important things instead of writing it all out
-went shopping at Manda Hill
-went to Kassi orphange-I love african kids. i wanted to take all the babies and kids home with me
-went giraffe shopping at kafue
-stopped at a coffee farm that sells their coffee to starbucks
-ate really good food
-hung out with the kids at seven fountains farm
-unpacked the container
-spent one whole day sorting the stuff we unpacked
-ate more good food
-had a sweet 2 hour talk with Dennis and Ennis, Duncan and Allan(the poeple we are staying with)
-went to Kalomo market

and that brings us up to now. and here i am at el pantano-the internet cafe that rhutt and shepered own. and its hot outside and orange fanta sounds really good right now...actually a milkshake sounds better. so i think im going to get one. so i better be off. so far africa has been great. i love it here.
hopefully i will get to post a couple more times when i am here but i might not. but i better be off

later-alicia

2006-07-14T02:47:00.000-06:00

We have left England and are now in Belgium. Yesterday we took the Euro-star, and it took us from London to Brussels. And then from Brussels, we hopped a train to Antewerp. We are staying at the Brazles house and will be here for 4 days.
Our last two days in London were super fun. After Canada Place,(when i last posted) we just walked around Downtown london and saw the tower bridge and the tower of london. We didnt actually get to go inside because we got there to late, but it was still neat to see it from the outside. From there we just walked around and eventually found a little pub and ate traditionally fish and chips for supper. It was good.
Our last day in London, we went to Wimbledon and actually spent quite a bit of time there. We werent able to take a tour because they were still taking stuff down from the tournament. We did go into the museum though which was really cool. We learnt a lot about the history of tennis and Wimbledon and even got to see the Championship trophey with the pineapple on top and Roger Federers name on it 4 times. Too bad we didnt get to see Rog himself. After Wimbledon we went to Harrods. Some of you will know what Harrods is, but others will not. For those of you that don't, its a massive department store that has absolutely everything that you've ever dreamed or imagined of having, and probably more too. Its pretty much is own mall and land. If you shop there, pretty much you dont need to shop anywhere else, but the catch is, its flippin expensive. Its a rich peoples department store. We found a globe that cost 13, 450 pounds. and thats pounds. so times it by approx. 2.7 and you have what it would cost in Canadian. who needs a globe that costs that much? But it was still fun to look around. I even was able to find something that wasnt to expensive and so i bought it. We also bought food there and went and had a picnic in Hyde park. After Harronds we went back downtown and went and saw the Lion King. Oh man it was so good. It was so well done-the set, the animals, everything. It was a good end to the London trip. On the last day we just stayed close to the place we were staying because we had to meet up with the Krogsgaards and Matt G at Waterloo station at like 1:00 and so we didnt have much time.
But London was great and I've decided that someday i want to live there. And know we're in Belgium and its going to be fun too. I'm excited to see new things and go new places.
but i better be off.
hope everyones doing good at home.

later
alicia

2006-07-11T08:24:00.000-06:00

This is my first post since we got to London. Today we walked around downtown and found the Canadian embassy and so we decided to come inside to sit down, and found computers as well as couches. So thats why Im writing this, because who knows when i will get to update next.
We arrived here yesterday, July 10th after 8 hours of flying. The flights were good. Nothing to special. Just like every other flight. The best part was flying into London because it was clear and we could see so much. We even were able to pick out Wimbledon and I think we even pretended that we saw Roger Federer from that far away. Maybe we did. Well yesterday was our first full of day in London. We got in at about 8:00 but didnt get out of the airport until like 9:45 because one of our bags got lost and so my dad had to deal with it. We never did find it but when they do there going to call us. So hopefully they find it, otherwise we will be without some supplies in Africa. Hopefully not. But today has been a full day. We got to see all the main tourist attractions of London. It started off by riding a double decker bus, and then big ben, and then Buckingham palace and Westminster Abby. Its neat to actually see all these places because you always hear about them but I'd never actually seen them.
Oh yeah and last night we went to Picaddilly Circus to do a little shopping. Didnt buy anything. Everythings so flippin expensive here. Whatever, its all worth it, because so many things you buy here you cant get other places.
melissa- if you read this. I saw a Burberry store and thought of you. I even took a picture of it.

I love london so far. Its such a pretty city. Lots of people. Lots of hot boys. Its perfect. Sometimes its seems a little to big because I'm from little old Regina which isn othing compared to london. But still i love it. Its such an old city and theres so much history. thats what i love about europe. not like regina. nothings older than 100 years old.

But i better be off. Other people are waiting to use the computer.
hopefully i will be able to post another blog sometime to tell of the other sweet adventures i get to go on. Tomorrow we got to wimbledon and hopefully will see Rog. That would be the best.
and yes jeremy, if i see him or a statue of him i will take a picture.
hope everyones doing good at home

later
alicia

2006-07-08T12:57:00.000-06:00

Its hard to believe that tomorrow I will get on a plane and fly to London, and then Belgium and then finally Africa. It seems like no time ago I was boarding a plane for Africa the first time. Its crazy how fast time goes. 3 years to be exact. I'm beyond excited. I've been waiting for this day for so long. For the last week I've been restless and havent been able to go to sleep because I've been so excited. And so I'm glad that the day is almost here, becasue if I had to wait longer, I think i would go crazy. I've been packed for like a week now. If i could have left yesterday or the day before that i would have, because i was ready to go. And so finally tomorrow at 11:20 I get to board the plane and fly away. :)

2006-07-06T20:02:00.000-06:00

Well i know that i just posted my first entry not very long ago but i've been doing alot of thinking.
Last weekend i spent the weekend in winnipeg visiting my cousins before i leave for the summer. The last day of being there, the sad news reached us that a friend of my cousins was killed in a car crash. We had been out at the cabin for the weekend and so we didnt have access to a newspaper and so getting back to the city, the first thing my cousin did was buy a newspaper to get the details. Reading it broke my heart. He was only 17, just graduated from highschool a week before. He was someones brother, someones boyfriend, someones best friend, someones son, even someones enemy, but no matter what he was, he was something to someone.

Before i get too deep into this, I'm not trying to say that i know what everyone who had to deal with this is going through, because i dont. I've never had to deal with the loss of a family member, a best friend, a co-worker, someone i love and care about, or someone I'm close to, to something like this but i hope i never have to. But yet I have had experiences that have hit close to home, and this one hit closer to home than any of the others. Seeing someone i love and care about deeply affected by this hurt me. It broke my heart to see my best friend cry and try and comprehend the fact that he would never walk or drive down the street again, he would never sign onto msn again, he would never show up at another party again and she would never run into him again at 7-eleven or safeway. Even for me, though I didnt know him, it felt like a bad dream that i would soon wake up from, but it wasnt a dream, it was reality.

Its sad to think that this kid was a kid just like me. He had hopes, dreams, goals, ambitions, a future, a past, and even regrets. I bet he had so much planned, and was going to make something of his life. Maybe he wanted to be a doctor or a scientist or a baseball player. He was only 17.
This whole situation got me thinking about life and how often we take it for granted. It only takes a second for life to change. It can only take a second for life to be gone.
I know its a depressing topic and so we don't think about it very often, but who knows when it will all come to an end. A couple years ago, kids from my highschool were in a bad car crash and a couple of them were killed. Thats the first time i ever remember thinking about how fast life can be taken away from someone. On the friday before the accident, i remember walking down the hallway and seeing one of the girls who got killed, i remember thinking nothing of it, probaby thinking oh i will see her again monday or sometime next week. But i never did. Never again would i see her in the hallway, never again would i stand behind her in line to buy food, never again would she be there. Never again.

Another thought that came out of this whole situation is that i dont appreciate the people that are in my life enough. Its safe to say for myself and probably many other people that I take the people i love for granted. I have the idea in my head that they will always be there, but thats a lie. I dont want to think these thoughts, but what if today they were here and tomorrow they weren't? Would they know that you loved them and appreciate them?

So i guess what i'm trying to say is take time to appreciate the people you love and care about because life can be taken away in a second. It doesnt take much. A hug, a hi, anything. Just something to show them you care before its too late and you regret it. and don't take life for granted.

So to all my friends family out there, i love you and appreciate you. no matter what i say or do. just always remember that.

Also please pray for my cousin, and the family of the boy who was killed. Pray that they will find the strength to get through the hard times and that they will find comfort and peace in the hard times ahead of them.

2006-07-06T18:09:00.000-06:00

Finally, here i am in the blogging world. It took me long enough but I'm finally here. It seemed like everyone else was doing it and so i decided that it was time for me to hop on the bandwagon or whatever you want to call it. There are a couple reasons for this blog:
1. Firstly to share my oh so very deep thoughts with all of you
2.Secondly, as an easier form of communication as I head over to Africa for the summer. Instead of sending out a million emails I can post just one blog and everyone who wants to read it can. This way I dont have to worry about remembering everyones email address and I dont have to worry if i forgot anyone.

So those are the reasons why I've finally entered the blogging world.
Well I'm off for now since I'm on my sisters computer and she is standing over my shoulder, giving me the hint she wants it.

later.
-alicia