So lately i have been doing alot of thinking, some of it has been about school and school related things and stresses but most of it has been about life and the way im living it.
Before I went to africa this summer i was at what you may call a stand still. Nothing was really happeneing in my life but i was content to just sit there and let nothing happen. I was settling for things that before i wouldnt have settled for, and also I put my relationship with god to the back burner and put dumb worldly things ahead of him. And i was content to be like that.
But then i went to africa for the summer and something just clicked. Being taken out of my envirnoment that i had become numb to what was going on and getting to look back at it and see the whole picture made me realize that i didnt want to be content with those things anymore.
Africa was sort of like a cleansing process. I spent the summer with people who only had positive things to say and would encourage and lift you up. I didnt hear a single swear word or hear about the awesome party or about who was so drunk on the the weekend all summer. Getting taken from an environment where dumb little things played a huge role and getting placed in an environment where those little things didnt matter at all, felt great. To be honest it felt refreshing to be in an environment like that. Because living in the place that i had, i had become numb to everything around me, and so i didnt really notice or pay attention to what was going on, but then once i was placed into a different place and a whole new environment, i was shown what i hadnt been paying attention too.
And to be honest, i didnt want to leave africa and come back to the environment that i had left, and come home to the things i had left. But coming home i knew that i would. and the things that i left behind were the things that i realized that i didnt want to be content with anymore. I didnt want to come home to a stand still life that was empty. I wanted more. I still do want more.
But since being home, its so hard not to fall back into the routine of being content. And when all your friends are settling for things you dont want to settle for, its hard to be the odd one out and say no, i'm not settling for that. It would be so easy to just go along with everyone else because thats whats comfortable and thats whats easiest.
But to be honest, i dont want the comfortable anymore. I dont want to be content with those things. I'm sick of settling for things i dont want to settle for. and im also sick of seeing people who i know want so much more, settle for the little things they dont want.
so thats whats been on my mind lately.
so think about it. are you settling for things you dont want to settle for? are you content just because its comfortable?
..........
Friday, September 22, 2006
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2 comments:
oh lic. i love your heart. thanks for sharing your thoughts. i know exactly how you are feeling - because it is what i am feeling right now too. and it is hard to not fall back into the same place that we were before we left - but like you, i don't want to be in that place anymore. i used to be content just because i was comfortable, but recently i have become less and less content with being comfortable. i don't want to be too comfortable anymore.
let's chat about it sometime. and held each other accountable for the changes that we want to make (or that are being made) in our lives. love you.
jilly
hey,
its tough for sure.
be encouraged by the fact that a lot of the people around you who are settling for ordinary life are just as unsettled as you are at the idea of settling. if you take a stand against life-wasting and the idol of comfort, you won't be alone for long.
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