i've become really good at procrastinating over the last few weeks. i will do absolutely everything else in the world before i get to my studying. including write a blog. i should be studying for my physics midterm that is going to be the death of me but instead here i am writing a blog.
my studying can wait until tomorrow.
i will keep saying that and soon it will be to late.

over the last few weeks i've realized that trying to do all i have to do-study for midterms, get homework assignments done, have a life, work- and getting all those things done is really hard and has worn me done. Taking 5 classes with 2 labs and a part time job is starting to get to me and its only midterms. This last week I got really sick to the point of feeling like i could die but yet my life didnt stand still like it did in highschool, life went on as usually. it sucked to have to miss 2 days of classes because those were two days of classes where important things were learnt, that i would need to learn for my midterm. For example, one day i was sick i had psych class. Now in the psych class i missed we learnt that We WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO USE A PENCIl during the midterm and if we did, we would get a GRADE of 0. Now my two friends failed to mention this to me, and so i wrote my entire midterm with a pencil. and so i'm with the stress of maybe getting a 0. oh the joys of university.
who flipping cares if i used a pencil or a pen. it doesnt matter in the grand scheme of life. so why?

me and one of my best friends had a sweet talk tonight about life and why things are the way they are. I wonder why things are the way they are for me? i know that so many times in life, i am so quick to the point the finger at other people for not doing things in my life. (i dont know if that makes sense to you but it does to me) but why? why do i point the finger at other people when its my life? i should be pointing the finger at myself. and i should be looking at what i'm not doing and change it. if i want something, i wonder why im getting it, but i should think about how can i get that, and what can i do. i dont know if i make sense right now.

but whatever.
i really should go do some homework.
enough procrastinating.