I used to really hate change. I was never good at new situations or meeting new people or straying away from the old. I'm still not that good at it but as I've grown up it's become something that I've learned to appreciate. Change is something that is going to happen no matter what and so you may as well learn to live with it and even like it sometimes. I've learnt to like it. Something else I've realized is that somethings will never change.
Awhile ago a friend and I were talking about being able to come home- come home to a place that is familiar and hasn't really changed. I disagreed at the time saying that this place had changed. I couldn't give an answer why but I was pretty set that it had. I thought that this place was changing while I stayed the same but actually it was the other way around. Since this conversation I have gone on a 6 week trip and come home. Being able to leave this place and then come home I've realized that this place truthfully hasn't changed-plus or minus a few things. For better or worse it is left unchanged and for better or worse I have changed. I don't really know how I feel about this, actually its probably more mixed emotions then not really knowing what the emotions are. Its both a good and bad thing. Good- its nice being able to come home to a place that you know, to things that are familiar, things that are the same, being able to pick up where you left off. Bad-coming home to a place that is the same as when you left it but you aren't the same person, how do you find your groove, or where you fit, or explain it to people that will never really understand.
I've always sucked at balance-my physical balance is pretty good but a mental balance is something that I find really hard to work out. I'm the type of person that gets comfortable, comfortable in my surroundings, finding a groove and slipping into a rut. It happens time and time again. Regina has a rut. A rut that I slip into far to often. I'm not saying that it's a bad thing but I know it's not for me and not where I want to be- that doesn't stop me from slipping into it though. I see way to many people in life that are comfortable, comfortable to sit back and not take steps forward-they fall into that rut and don't really do anything to get out of it. They let go of themselves and give up just cause its easier. I don't want that. I don't want to be comfortable, I don't want to fall into that rut and end up giving up. But how do I find balance? How do I stay true to who I am and who I want to be and not slip into that rut but yet find peace and contentment with this place? How and where do I find that balance in an unchanged place when I am changed?
Awhile ago a friend and I were talking about being able to come home- come home to a place that is familiar and hasn't really changed. I disagreed at the time saying that this place had changed. I couldn't give an answer why but I was pretty set that it had. I thought that this place was changing while I stayed the same but actually it was the other way around. Since this conversation I have gone on a 6 week trip and come home. Being able to leave this place and then come home I've realized that this place truthfully hasn't changed-plus or minus a few things. For better or worse it is left unchanged and for better or worse I have changed. I don't really know how I feel about this, actually its probably more mixed emotions then not really knowing what the emotions are. Its both a good and bad thing. Good- its nice being able to come home to a place that you know, to things that are familiar, things that are the same, being able to pick up where you left off. Bad-coming home to a place that is the same as when you left it but you aren't the same person, how do you find your groove, or where you fit, or explain it to people that will never really understand.
I've always sucked at balance-my physical balance is pretty good but a mental balance is something that I find really hard to work out. I'm the type of person that gets comfortable, comfortable in my surroundings, finding a groove and slipping into a rut. It happens time and time again. Regina has a rut. A rut that I slip into far to often. I'm not saying that it's a bad thing but I know it's not for me and not where I want to be- that doesn't stop me from slipping into it though. I see way to many people in life that are comfortable, comfortable to sit back and not take steps forward-they fall into that rut and don't really do anything to get out of it. They let go of themselves and give up just cause its easier. I don't want that. I don't want to be comfortable, I don't want to fall into that rut and end up giving up. But how do I find balance? How do I stay true to who I am and who I want to be and not slip into that rut but yet find peace and contentment with this place? How and where do I find that balance in an unchanged place when I am changed?
3 comments:
The answer is...move to saskatoon. All the cool kids are doing it.
well said alicia. definitely not well said, jeremy.
saskatoon is the worst place on earth.
sounds like your hitting the pavement.
Post a Comment